


YouTube Attraction

by talisha_jaynee



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Abuse, Bipolar Disorder, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Youtuber AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-21
Updated: 2015-07-14
Packaged: 2018-03-18 21:15:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 28,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3584331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talisha_jaynee/pseuds/talisha_jaynee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ian Gallagher has moved to LA to kick start his YouTube career, making it big with his millions of subscribers. Mickey Milkovich is still stuck in South-side Chicago, running a small, secret, short film channel with a few thousand subscribers. They both love each others channels, and when the chance to meet again arrives, Ian's curiosity on who runs the secret channel, and Mickey's long-term crush on the ginger makes for an interesting adventure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Monday

  “Also, I’ll be in Chicago this weekend visiting family and I want to have a meet up!” Ian exclaimed into the camera, “Details will come out later this week, so keep updated on my twitter,” he pointed to his left, “and my Instagram,” he pointed to the right, “As that is where I’ll put all the information. Can’t wait to see you this weekend, or if you’re not in Chicago, next Monday!” He waved into the lens for a few more seconds then immediately dropped both his arm and smile and regrettably thought about the next few hours of editing he had to endure to get the video up on time. Ian loved making videos, but Sunday nights were the worst time to make them.  
  ‘Serves me for keeping it to the last minute,’ he bitterly thought. Turning off the camera, lights and taking out the SD card, he checked the time on his phone.  
  “1:34am?” he cried out loud, really hating himself now for procrastinating for so long. He sighed angrily as he bitterly walked away from his comfortable queen bed and favourite pillows, out of his bedroom, and moved to the next room, his studio. Getting comfortable in the office chair was difficult. It was old, creaky and too tall to fit his obnoxiously muscled legs under the desk.  
  ‘But,’ he remembered, ‘it was the sacrifice for a better camera and editing software’. He booted up his Mac desktop and inserted his SD card into the reader opening up Final Cut Pro from the menu bar. As the footage that he had just captured was busy importing he got up and went to the kitchen, getting a beer from the fridge. He had always liked editing while he was slightly intoxicated, it made the footage seem funnier and he was happier with it. It also reminded him of home and his teenage years where most of the short videos that he was first uploading to YouTube were him and his family drunk and filming the stupid shit that was happening that night. He was surprised no one had ever arrested his sister about those, he was obviously a minor and drunk on the internet, but they only had about 12 views each, so no one had ever paid attention to them.  
By the time Ian had finally edited and exported the new video it was 3:46am, so before he had any second thoughts about what he had created, he quickly stripped to his boxers and climbed into bed hoping for a long sleep in.

  Ian’s’ stomach woke him up the next morning, ‘Or should I say afternoon,’ he quickly corrected as he checked his phone that read 12:06pm. He laid in bed for a few minutes, quickly going through his notifications on Twitter, then making a tweet himself.  
  ‘ _New video out today!! Get excited it’s a #funnyone xx_ ’ his tweet read. By the time he had gotten showered, dressed and began making lunch it had been retweeted over 2,000 times.  
  He sat down at his uncomfortable desk again to finally upload the video. Eating his lunch, he went through his own subscriptions finding something to pass the horribly long time it takes YouTube to upload a video. He was about to give up and marathon a show, ‘Friends, maybe?’ when he saw a video from his favourite account, _Fcuk-U-Up_ a channel that only uploaded semi-regularly, well more like a few times a year. Ian loved it because the guy who owned the account made short silent films that always packed a really emotional message that would almost always make Ian cry. The music, the cinematography, even just the titles of the videos made Ian extreamly jealous of the guys’ creative mind. The channel was also based in Ian’s home town in Chicago, so seeing the familiar surroundings, but in this artistic way always made him excited to watch.  
  Ian tried to get as comfortable as possible in his cramped chair as the video loaded and then his body was momentarily frozen in place as the first chord of the video began. The music and visuals accompanied each other so beautifully that Ian was almost crying in the first minute.  
  He was so invested in the turf war that was happening on his screen that he didn’t even notice that 14 minutes had passed until the video ended. He also didn’t notice the tears running down his face until he heard soft plop’s on his empty plate.  
  ‘God that was fucking emotional,’ Ian thought as he quickly wiped his eyes and moved the plate onto the desk, ‘who would have thought a gang war would make me cry?’ After writing his very first comment on the channel, a short good job under the emotional latest video, he looked at it stupidly. Ian didn’t know how to describe what he had just went through emotionally into one comment, but he felt like he needed to say something. He spent a few more moments trying to think of what to say, but finally gave up on making it sound better, pressed enter and quickly checked the progress on his uploading video which had just finished. Writing his description was a basic copy and paste from his last video, then he went about choosing an appropriate screenshot to make the thumbnail, and naming the video before he finished. Ian quickly opened up Twitter and pasted the URL for the new video into a new tweet, urging his 2 million followers to watch.

 

  Mickey loved Mondays. He would wake up late, usually after 3pm, and watch the new video Ian Gallagher had uploaded. Mickey wasn’t a fan of vloggers, especially the young, pretty boy type, but Ian was different. He made his audience think about actual issues, not just 6 minute challenge videos, and Mickey respected that. He appreciated the fact that Ian was taking vlogging in a new direction and sticking it to the mainstream YouTubers who only did the exact same video every week. But what Mickey loved the most was that Ian was punctual, he never missed a Monday and almost always uploaded before the time Mickey woke up.  
  He sat up leaning against the wall his bed was pushed against and opened his laptop looking at his subscriptions. Ian’s video this week was about what he had learnt in his childhood and how much he appreciates everything he has now living in LA. Mickey completely understood everything Ian said in the 6 minute video, Mickey was living that life Ian had so luckily gotten out of, the poverty of Southside Chicago, the thugs, the crime.  
  Mickey was about to close his laptop when he continued hearing Ian’s voice, even after Mickey was certain the video had finished.  
  “Also, I’ll be in Chicago this weekend visiting family and I want to have a meet up!” Ian’s deep voice shouted through Mickey’s earphones. Mickey felt butterflies in his stomach as Ian shamelessly plugged his social media sites, claiming he will use those to release the information on the meet up later this week.  
  Mickey began thinking on how he could meet Ian this weekend, he and his brothers were out on runs every weekend and he wouldn’t be home til late Sunday night, like usual.  
  ‘Fuck,’ he thought as he started moved from his bed to get dressed, ‘How will meet this fucking asshole?’  
  He thought long and hard about it as he ate his breakfast, two pop tarts he had stolen from his sister’s plate  
  “Hey, fuck you!” Mandy flipped him off as he greedily pushed to two pop tarts in his mouth at once, showing her he was thoroughly enjoying it by the massive smirk on his face. After he finished breakfast and washed his mouth with a mouthful of vodka, he went back into his room to see the response from his latest video.  
  Even though he only had 12,000 subscribers on _Fcuk-U-Up_ , he got thousands of comments on his videos, usually asking about the next video, which he would reply with a blunt, ‘whenever the fuck I make it’, or they would comment stating that the video made them cry, which were a lot nicer to read. Mickey use to think those who were so open about their feeling on his videos and the internet were weak, why the fuck were they crying at the stupid shit he made, but he had gotten so used to it now that even the male viewers who were stating that they cried didn’t make Mickey want to punch their faces through the screen.  
  He was scrolling through his comments on the latest video, the same shit of crying idiots when he found a particular idiot that caught his eye.  
_Ian Gallagher_ it read besides a small icon of Ian’s smiling face. Mickey felt his face flush and his breathing shorten. Even though he would never admit it to anyone, because he definitely didn’t have a death wish, he had a big crush on the ginger and it had been lasting for a long time, ever since Mickey was 8 years old and Ian had started in his Little League team.  
  _Great job on the video, it was so beautifully shot and the music really complimented the visuals for this one. Cried like a little girl :)_  
  Mickey could not believe what he was reading. He quickly clicked on the profile, making sure it wasn’t one of those stupid fake accounts people seemed to enjoy making, then read the comment a few more times.  
  ‘For this one?’ Mickey questioned, ‘Does this mean he had seen more of my videos?’ He began to feel really self-conscious of every single video he had ever uploaded, all 12 of them, and began to think of how many Ian had seen. ‘I hope it wasn’t any of those fucking old ones I made, they were fucking stupid, he would probably hate them, fuck.’  
  Mickey was too concerned with this new information that he didn’t even hear his sister walk into his room.  
  “How did people like the video?” She asked jumping into bed next to him.  
  “Uh,” Mickey was startled as he quickly tried to close his laptop and move it off the bed, but Mandy was too quick.  
  “What, did they hate me?” She asked as she grabbed the laptop out of her brothers’ sweaty hands. Mandy usually played the main character in his videos, she loved to act and he didn’t have much choice, but there had never been a bad comment about her on any one of his videos. She looked at him questioning as she opened the laptop and read the first comment on the screen, “Oh my fucking god.”  
  “Give that back,” Mickey half-heartedly threatened her. He was still just getting over the initial shook Ian had given on him.  
  “Fucking Ian Gallagher commented on the video,” She whispered to him, “Fucking Ian Gallagher!” She then screamed turning to her brother with the biggest smile Mickey had ever seen.  
  “What about Gallagher?” Iggy yelled from the front room, obviously hearing the commotion going on in Mickey’s room.  
  “Nothing fuck head,” Mickey retorted back, yelling even louder, giving the clear signal that the conversation was finished.  
  “Sorry,” Mandy went back to her whisper, leaning her head onto Mickeys shoulder, “I just got excited.” She looked remorseful enough. Mickey trusted her with this YouTube information, no one else in their family, let alone their town knew Mickey was into making videos, and if anyone found out Mandy and himself knew that would be the end. She knew that YouTube was their secret and that it made her older brother so happy to have a creative outlet, she would never intentionally tell anyone.  
  “Whatever,” he shrugged his sisters’ head off and she understood that was forgiveness for the apology.  
  “But Ian Gallagher,” she jumped straight back into that huge grin and turned back towards the screen, “I haven’t heard that name in years!”  
  “Yeah, he’s actually some massive fucking superstar on YouTube,” Mickey replied as he tried to play his voice and actions calmly. She had clicked on his profile and was going through his videos.  
  “Wow, you’ve watched every single one of these?” She noticed as every single thumbnail read watched.  
  “Yeah, he’s not that fucking bad.” He retorted as she clicked on his latest video. She grabbed one earphone and offered the other to Mickey.  
  “Hey, my name is Ian Gallagher and I want to talk to you guys about being grateful for whatever you have,” His intro started. Mickey looked towards his sister and could see that his sister was remembering the Ian that she knew, her best friend through all of her high school years. Her face looked softer as she tried to remember the old Ian in this new one.  
  Ian continued as he began retelling a story from his childhood involving his drunk dad and his crazy mom in a very imaginable, almost unrealistic way. “Yeah I lived a pretty rough childhood, you could say,” Ian laughed as the story finished.  
  “It’s like he’s making living here a joke,” Mandy noted, that smile quickly turning into a frown, “like his life before LA is a fucking fictitious story.”  
  “Wouldn’t you think this was all some fucked up dream too if you got out?” Mickey reacted, defending the YouTuber.  
  “I’ll never get out,” she said looking at him with a confronting honesty that was only saved for moments between the two.  
  “Hey if that scrawny ginger Gallagher could fucking get out, why the fuck can’t you?” He tried to reason, but he knew deep down that all the Milkovich’s would be stuck here forever.  
  “Maybe…” she trailed off as she continued watching the video as Ian made his announcement on his meet and greet. “Wow, we should totally go!” She almost screamed into Mickey’s ear.  
  “You changed your tune fucking quickly” Mickey noted as he tried to massage the ringing out of his ear.  
  “He’s coming here! I haven’t seen him since school,” Mandy tried to persuade her brother. “He was my best friend!”  
  “Can’t,” he grabbed the laptop back from Mandy, “I need to fucking work this weekend, you know? Make some fucking money”  
  “Can’t you take this weekend off,” she pleaded, “We’ll make some fucking excuse up, and Iggy’ll believe anything.”  
  “Like what?” Mickey would be lying if he said he didn’t get a bit excited at his sisters plan.  
  “I don’t know,” Mandy huffed, “Say you have fucking diarrhea or something.”  
  “He would believe that wouldn’t he?” Mickey smiled, both at the thought of his brother face after hearing that and at the thought that he might actually see Ian after all this time.


	2. Tuesday

  “Hey have you messaged him yet?” Mandy asked as she sat down next to her brother on the sofa in the living room. She placed the open bag of potato chips between them.

  “Who?” Mickey asked disinterested. He was really into the fish catching show on the television, and he didn’t really want to be thinking about gingers right now.

  Mandy hit him playfully on the arm, “Ian Gallagher, stupid.”

  “Why?” Mickey replied back, now with a mouth full of potato chips.

  Sometimes Mandy wondered how she hadn’t actually killed him yet. “Because,” she answered, “I wanna see him and I need to know if he wants to actually see me, fuck face.”

  Mickey didn’t even answer with a word this time, just grunted and shrugged as he stuffed more food in his mouth.

  “God you are fucking useless.” She stormed out of the living room and into Mickey’s bedroom. He eyes didn’t leave the television screen until Mandy sat back down with Mickey’s computer in her lap.

  “Hey, what the fuck?” He forgot about the show and threw the almost empty packet of crisps on the table, trying to grab his laptop. Mandy began violently swatting his arms away.

  “I’m, going, to, message, Ian, Gallagher,” she said in between hits, leaving dark red marks on her older brother, until Mickey looked like he had burned his upper arms. “Because you’re too pussy to do anything about it.”

  “Nah, I’m fucking not,” Mickey defended, trying to sooth his arms by rubbing them, “I just forgot, okay?”

  “Sure,” Mandy’s sighed sarcastically as she began typing a comment on Ian’s newest video, “just like this is really your laptop right?”

  “I found that shit fairly,” he pointed to the laptop, “fuckers fault for leaving it alone in a classroom… Wait, what the fuck are you saying to him?” Mickey questioned as he tried to move closer to the screen to read the comment.

  “Patience,” Mandy snapped, adjusting the laptop screen so her older brother couldn’t read the comment.

  Mickey waited a few more moments, watching her furiously type on the keyboard. ‘God was she writing a fucking novel?’ he thought, before she smiled mischievously and handed back the laptop.

  “You are so fucking dead,” he whispered as he read the comment from _Fcuk-U-Up’_ s account on the video over and over again.

 

  Ian didn’t usually go through his comments on his videos, but there was one exception, when he was completely and utterly bored. The comments left were mostly young girls writing about how hot he looked in a video, or asking for more videos a week, or asking him to take his shirt off. None of it was helpful criticism, which is what Ian loved the most. He loved knowing what his viewers really thought of the video and how he could improve for later videos. He wanted to know if they enjoyed the light-hearted music in the background, or if it should be darker, or if his intros were too long. Comments that actually helped him grow as a YouTuber made him so much happier than...

  ‘Questions on what fucking hair products I use,’ Ian angrily thought as he saw the first comment on his video, ‘or if I have a girlfriend’ he continued as he saw 6 comments from the same account asking just that. He had recently thought about making a _Coming Out_ video, but was terrified of all the unwanted attention it would get from homophobes and curious viewers asking about his sex life. He didn’t want to deal with all that just yet. The most important people in his life knew, his family and close friends, he just wanted his sexuality to stay off the internet. ‘I’m not technically lying to them,’ he would tell himself if he felt a moment of guilt about the situation. But deep down Ian understood how great it would be for so many people to see an openly gay YouTuber who has millions of subscribers, especially those who don’t feel comfortable with their own sexuality.

  "One day, maybe" Ian sighed.

  He continued mindlessly scrolling through his comments to defeat the boredom. He had already tried calling all his friends, but they all had jobs that weren’t as flexible as YouTube’s working hours and that actually involved going into offices. He knew that his family were busy too. Fiona had taken more shifts at the diner, so that she could have the weekend off for Ian’s visit, Lip, Debbie and Carl were in classrooms, and Liam was in pre-school.

  He was just about to stop his aimless wander down the comments section after reading the 28th question regarding his sexuality, when an icon caught his eye. The icon was literally an eye. The eye was zoomed up and filtered so you couldn’t make out the eye colour. But the thing that caught Ian was the account’s name, _Fcuk-U-Up._

_hey fucker I live in south side and I don’t like how you just making jokes about my hood. if you’re really a tough guy come find me this weekend when you’re around and we’ll see if you’re really south side shit_

  Ian had never felt more threatened or excited about a comment on one of his videos before. He idolised this guy and if this account wanted to meet, Ian was more than happy to oblige.

  ‘But how will we figure this out?’ Ian questioned as he tried cyber stalking the account. No other social media sites were linked on _Fcuk-U-Up_ ’s channel, there wasn’t even a name. The only source of communication that he could find on the site was an e-mail address. ‘Fuck it’, Ian thought as he copied and pasted the address into a new e-mail.

  _This is Ian Gallagher…_

  ‘Wait, did that sound pretentious?’

  _Howdy YouTube friend…_

  ‘Okay, that was just lame.’

  _Hey, Fcuk-U-Up!_

  “That seems alright,” Ian sighed as he continued the email, “I hope.”

 

  “…and I excited about us meeting up. Reply back with the times you’re available and we’ll figure something out. Can’t wait to meet you, Ian.” Mandy read out in a whisper excitedly.

  “Someone’s fucking happy with themselves, huh?” Mickey scoffed as he continued eating the pizza roll already in his mouth.

  “You’re just jealous that my plan worked,” Mandy teased picking up another pizza roll, “He can’t wait to meet you.”

  “Whatever, I’m only doing this for you asswipe.”

  “Of course you are,” she sarcastically rolled her eyes as she closed the laptop and moved it down the dining table.

  “Wait, what the fuck are you doing for her?” Iggy asked as he sat at the table opposite his brother.

  “None of your fucking business,” Mickey replied, grabbing two pizza rolls.

  “You two seem to be keeping secrets from us,” Terry commented as he sat at the head of the table, placing his beer down and grabbing several rolls with his beefy hands, “Igg told me before about this shit as well.”

  “We got no secrets paps,” Mickey replied not moving his eyes from the plate in front of him.

  “I think it’s in the computer somewhere,” Tony suggested.

  “Yeah, they always hog that fucking shit!” Iggy agreed.

  Terry looked at the laptop, it was only inches from his right forearm. “Is that true Mick?”

  “I found it, I get to keep it,” Mickey retorted still not looking his dad in the eye.

  “And only share it with your sister!” Iggy shouted, “What about the rest of the fucking family?”

  “Sit the fuck down,” Terry bellowed, Iggy immediately dropped back onto the chair, “Mickey’s right, he stole the shit, he can keep it. It’s probably got his fucking cum all over it anyway.”   The whole table looked uncomfortable at the turn of subject. “Anyway, Igg, how’d sales go today?”

  The conversation moved from the laptop debate and onto normal dinner discussions up until the last pizza roll was consumed by Terry. Mandy tried to grab the laptop and move away from the table, but Terry seized it before her first move.

  “I think you can have a break from this shit for a bit,” Terry claimed, moving it to the left side of the table. Mandy knew better than to argue with her father and left the room.

  “I can still have it, right dad?” Mickey asked, standing from the table and now finally looking at the old man confidently.

  “I think you can have a break as well,” Terry answered standing up, “you’ve been on this shit a lot as well.”

  “But you said I was mine?” Mickey asked confused. Wasn’t it Terry who had agreed with him during the discussion?

  “You ever heard of being fucking grounded?” Terry’s voice rose as he started on a new beer, “Well you have now.”

  “But I fucking haven’t done anything wrong?” Mickey yelled back.

  “Fucking being a smartass,” Terry moved threateningly towards Mickey, “that’s all I need to know.” Mickey also knew when to leave his dad alone before Terry would hit him, but he wanted that laptop more. He needed to reply to Ian’s e-mail.

  “Fucking punish Iggy then, he’s a bigger fucking smartass than m…” He couldn’t finish his sentence before his dad backhanded him in the mouth. He could taste blood, ‘probably another fucking tooth lost,’ Mickey thought. He quickly scurried away from his dad and into the bathroom to check the damage.

  Terry, pleased with the new silence grabbed his beer, the laptop, and headed to the couch.

  “He’ll pass out in a minute,” Mandy whispered as she walked into the bathroom, “we can grab the laptop then.”

  Mickey only grunted in response, trying to spit all the blood into the sink to get a clear image of his mouth.

 

  _I’m available all weekend, whatever time suits your crazy millions of subscribers’ ass._

  Was the whole e-mail Ian had just received from _Fcuk-U-Up._ It didn’t take Ian longer than a minute to read, but it made him crack up.

  “Hey, what’s so funny over there?” Fiona asked through the phone line.

  “Oh,” Ian had completely forgotten about his sister, “Uh, nothing. I just got a funny e-mail from someone I’m trying to meet with this weekend.”

  “I hope they aren’t taking up too much Gallagher time,” Fiona responded, “We have you all of Saturday, right?”

  “Yes, of course and then Sunday I’m doing my meet and greet at 12, so you also have me for a bit in the morning.”

  “Yeah!” Fiona enthused, “I’m so excited to see you again! It’s been what? 2 years since you’ve been home. That’s too long Ian.”

  “I know! I’m sorry” Ian apologised, “Next time the gap won’t be so long, promise.”

  They chatted for a few more minutes until Ian’s other siblings wanted to talk to him. He chatted to Debbie about boy problems, Carl about his second stint in juvie, Lip about collage and Liam about his first friend at pre-school. They all complimented his latest video and sent their love.

  “I’ll see you all soon,” Ian yelled into the phone when Fiona put him on speaker, “Love you!”

  He hung up and looked back at the e-mail and thought of the perfect time. Ian wasn’t leaving Chicago until Monday morning.

  _What about Sunday night for dinner?_

  He sent back his reply as nonchalant as he had received the last one, hiding all the excitement he felt about meeting this mysterious content creator.

  Ian then fell into a rabbit hole of _Fcuk-U-Up,_ trying to find something about this stranger, and watched every single video on the channel again, crying just as hard as he remembered he did the first times. The more Ian watched the more he fell in love with the unique way this guy saw the world. The butterflies that have now permeantly placed themselves in his stomach didn’t quieten down either.


	3. Wednesday

  Ian was woken up by a laugh track with a pounding headache. He couldn’t remember putting himself to bed, let alone what had happened the night before. He also couldn’t remember who could be in his apartment right now watching his shitty television. Needing some aspirin he decided to explore.

  “Hello?” He asked wearily as he stepped out of his apartment and looked around the corner into the living room. Two familiar faces turned around.

  “Hey!” the girl replied loudly, making Ian hold his already sore head, “Sorry.” She apologised.

  “Yeah, do you want us to turn down the tv?” the man asked and with Ian’s nod turned the volume down. “Also we left some aspirin and water on the kitchen counter.”

  Ian turned to his left and saw the objects in his reach. Taking his pills and water, he moved into the lounge room to sit on the already squashed two seater couch. “What are you guys doing here?” He asked the couple.

  “Well,” David began, “you called Megan at 9pm crying about some guy on the internet and how excited you were to meet him and then complained about drinking too much so we decided to come over to accompany you through that...”

  “And then,” Meagan continued, “You kept drinking which in hindsight we probably should have stopped, but then you passed out so we stayed over.”

  “It was a fun night,” David added, “You got super talkative about this mystery man.”

  Now it was coming back to Ian. He had been such a mess after watching all the videos from _Fcuk-U-Up_ that he thought drinking would help him deal with all the emotions he was feeling but then they intensified and now he had a dulling headache.

  “Sorry guys,” Ian apologised, “hope I didn’t ruin your night.”

  “It’s what friends are there for,” Megan replied hugging Ian awkwardly over the couch.

  “But now I’m super interested in this YouTube attraction,” David taunted, “And how you’re going to meet him this weekend.”

  ‘Oh shit,’ Ian thought as he left the room quickly to check his computer, ‘he probably emailed me back last night and I haven’t responded.’

  _Sure Mr. YouTube Celebrity I’m free. But book for three cause my sister is coming._

Ian laughed quietly to himself. With each interaction the two had, Ian’s attraction to the stranger grew stronger. Quickly emailing his reply, he went back out to see his friends and dodged their number of questions until they had to leave for work leaving Ian to sit alone.

  He was use to the loneliness now. He had moved out to Los Angela’s as soon as he graduated high school to follow this YouTube career. He had just passed a million subscribers then and was already networking with other YouTubers who already lived in LA before he even had a place to stay. Luckily a group of content creators were living together in a large house and allowed him to stay for a few weeks until Ian started regretting his decision. The only thing that these people did for fun was party and make videos, and the videos weren’t good enough to stick around for, so Ian found another YouTuber to stay with until he found his own place.

   A few months after moving Ian had reached almost 3 million subscribers, a lot of them only subscribing for the collaborations he had made living in the large house, and his dreams on becoming an officer were becoming over run by this new need to continue growing his audience. ‘But only by making good videos,’ he had promised himself. He had also recently realised that YouTubers were not as fun as they seemed online. He started getting so many messages from other YouTubers in LA to hang out, but this always meant to collaborate and Ian was getting sick of the fakeness of this world.

  Now the only friends Ian kept in contact with were random people he had met while he was first in Los Angeles, such as the nice barista at Ian’s coffee shop, or the mailman he struck up a conversation with outside the apartment complex. Megan was a lady he helped move into the apartment under his and after talking for a couple of hours, he met David, her boyfriend. He had never had problems making friends, but when it came to dating, he was out of luck. Even after being told countless times that he is ‘perfect’ by his subscribers, no one in his real life believed this to be true. He had gone a few dates in the past couple of years, but none of them had led to anything serious, which is what Ian craved most. He wanted companionship, someone to come home to every night and fill this loneliness he had. He wanted a big family, like the one he left and missed every day.

  ‘Oh well,’ Ian sighed, moving from the couch, ‘one day I’ll find someone.’

 

  Mickey woke up with a jolt.

  “Shhhh,” his sister whispered after she stopped shaking his body, then gestured to the living room, where Mickey could hear a conversation between his father and Iggy.

  “What?” Iggy groaned.

  “Shut the fuck up,” Terry replied angrily, “I’m as fucking angry as you are, so quit your fucking babying and find another job this weekend.”

  The siblings heard the front door slam from Mickey’s room, presuming it was Iggy going out to find that job, then the backdoor, their father going to have a smoke.

  “What the fuck are they on about?” Mickey asked, still grumpy that his sister woke him up.

  “Tony lost the job they had this weekend and Terry’s pissed.”

  “And why the fuck do I care, I’m not going,” Mickey sat up and reached for a smoke on his bedside table.

  “Because fuckhead,” Mandy replied taking the cigarette out of his fingers, “they aren’t going either now.”

  Mickey still looked at her confused.

  “I fucking swear to God,” Mandy sighed as she lit the cigarette, “They aren’t leaving the house this weekend, how the fuck are we going for dinner with Ian?”

  “Shit,” Mickey replied, now understanding, “Fuck.”

  “Exactly,” she took a drag from the smoke and handed it back to her brother, “better figure something out, or else I’ll just tell Terry that I have a date on Sunday night and I’ll be the only fucking one seeing Ian again.”

  “Fuck you!” Mickey yelled to his sister as she left his room. He grabbed his laptop, which surprising didn’t get a beating by his brother or father last night and logged on to his email. Mickey and Mandy were up for hours waiting for a response from Ian last night, so Mickey didn’t have much hope for a reply this morning. He was pleasantly surprised when he did have a new email from him.

  _Okay tough guy, dinner for three. Am I choosing where we eat too or can you do any of the planning?_

  Mickey was shocked at the response, he had pegged Ian as some super egomaniac who couldn’t handle any criticism, but he was going along with his response with sassiness.

  ‘Fucking tough guy, huh?’ Mickey thought as he replied quickly to Ian. It might have made him seem too eager, but at this point Mickey was too excited to care. He moved on to his morning routine and after washing his mouth, threw on some clothes and went out.

  He had a few jobs to do today, collect some debts from some losers at the Alibi, knock a few teeth out for looking at him the wrong way, and find a new job for his family for this weekend.

  Mickey had finished the first few jobs easily, only in a few hours, but the last one on his list was getting difficult. There were no jobs he could find that were hiring for this weekend, they had already been taken.

  ‘Fuck’, Mickey was about to give up and head home when he got a text from his sister.

  _Found a job, meet me after school_

 

  Walking into his apartment after working out, Ian needed to shower. But he also needed to check his emails.

  ‘This unknown guy is more important,’ Ian decided as he began stripping his gym clothes off and walking into his studio.

  _Depends if your gonna pay with your millions of youtube dollars_

Was the new email from  _Fcuk-U-Up._ Ian had the perfect response, sent it and prayed it wasn’t too forward. ‘Also this would be a lot fucking easier to do through texting,’ Ian thought, but the message he had sent was already risking what they had. A friendship? Acquaintanceship? Connection? Ian didn’t know what to call it.

  He thought about it as he showered, what they were. Internet friends didn’t work because they weren’t friends, work friend didn’t fit either for that same reasoning. He also began thinking about his reply email, when sudden regret filled his stomach.

  ‘Oh shit,’ he panicked, ‘I should not have said that, I should not have sent it.’ He quickly finished his shower and before drying himself off ran back to the studio and read his reply several times feeling worse with each read. ‘Fuck, fuck, fuck, I’ve already fucked this up.’

  He ate dinner alone as he watched his subscriptions that night, the new normal for Ian Gallagher, as he tried to distract himself from the horrid mistake he had made. But after every video he would refresh his email inbox just to be sure there was nothing new. Ian was about to retire for the night, it had just reached 2am, when he got a new email notification. Hoping it wasn’t about a new comment he opened it.

 

Ian Gallagher was walking on thin ice. Did he not remember that Mickey was from South Side? That what he said would get him killed here? Mickey read the email one last time before making his mind up on what he should reply.

  _What, like a date? ;)_

  Ian Gallagher was walking on real thin ice.

  When Mickey had first read it his face lit up like a tomato, he got butterflies in his stomach and his hands got sweaty. All the tell-tale signs that a Milkovich was embarrassed. Or trying to suppress feelings for a certain ginger. Mickey knew that it was a joke, a part of their conversation but even then he couldn’t think of a reply for hours, which was different to his constant thread of insults that flew around his mind at all times. He felt like smiling whenever he thought about the email, which got a few confused faces from his brothers, but fortunately no questions as they were busy preparing for the job that Mandy had lined up for them.

  “There’s one good thing about going to school,” she had started when Mickey met up with her later that day at their high school, “a lot of people need something to do for the weekend, or something done this weekend, they just don’t know who to ask.”

  “Okay, so fucking spit it out Mother Teresa,” Mickey huffed.

  After she had explained the job, even adding that it would also get their family out of the house until Tuesday, Mickey agreed that it was perfect.

  Their brothers and father agreed also and they were quick to begin getting everything ready for their trip that weekend.

  Once they were out of earshot Mandy asked her brother about how he was planning on ditching them.

  “I don’t fucking know yet,” he replied, “I’ll think of something soon.”

  “Good, because I need you there for dinner,” she smiled as walked back to her room.

  Now Mickey was sitting in front of his laptop writing out his reply to Ian.

  _A fucking date third-wheeled by my sister is what gets you hard?_

Mickey smirked at his work. He had decided that he didn't care if this was a joke or that he was South Side, he wanted to continue with the flirtatious conversation, ‘Your turn now Gallagher.’


	4. Thursday

  It had been over 12 hours since Mickey had sent his last email to the ginger, and he still hadn’t got a response back. Since the emailing back and forth had started, this had been the longest time between contacts, not that Mickey had been counting. He also definitely **did not** spend his whole Thursday morning waiting in front of his laptop screen for a reply. Or afternoon. Or evening.

  Regret had started to seep into Mickey’s brain after waiting 6 hours for the reply. Mickey hadn’t felt regret in a very long time, ever since his mother’s death, so it was a little foreign to him. The queesy feeling he had in the pit of his stomach and racing heart were not pleasent at all for the Milkovich.

  The embarrassment of what he had sent was felt after the 8thhour.

  ‘Did he think I was being hostile?’ Mickey had thought after the 9thhour, ‘should I have added an emoticon?’ Now confusion was his main emotion.

  He had thought about asking his sister for her advice, but she had not come home from school yet and he didn’t think this was a conversation he could have across the phone. So he sat in his room all day, to ashamed of ruining his budding friendship, and maybe relationship with Ian to go out and see his family. Or to do anything at all.

  It had been over 12 hours since Ian had gotten out of bed. He knew that he was meant to meet David for lunch today, but he couldn’t move his body. He knew he had to start thinking of his video topic for next week but he couldn’t focus his mind on anything but the darkness that had surrounded him. He knew that his mouth was dry but he didn’t care enough to go and get some water to soothe it.

  His bones felt like they weighed a ton. His heart felt like it was dead. His head felt like his was drowning.

  The constant ringing coming from his mobile phone was making him angry, and tired, and sad all at once. David had come by earlier that day, wondering why Ian didn’t make it to lunch. He banged on Ian’s front door for what felt like hours, yelling to let him in. But Ian couldn’t move and was thankful when David finally gave up.

  Even thinking about moving from his bed to the front door was making Ian cry into his pillow, to exhaust from not doing anything.

  “Wow,” Mandy finally replied after a minute, “you are more of a fucking idiot than I had originally thought.”

  Mickey grunted angrily as he took his laptop back from Mandy’s lap. She had just read the conversation he had be having with Ian through the emails. He had been stressing out about it all day, now he just wanted his sister to help him fix it, not that he would ever admit that. But he was desperate, he had already promised to steal her a laptop for her own use and to give her some of his good, expensive weed that he saved for special occasions.

  “Now he’s probably thinking you have a fucking hard on for me,” she explained, “You really fucked up man.”

  “I fucking know that,” Mickey replied, not able to keep his cool, “it’s been over 14 fucking hours since he’s fucking replied.”

  “Okay, calm down,” she raised her hands, “geez, I think I have an idea on how to salvage this dinner because I am sure as fuck not going to dinner with Ian Gallagher when he thinks we’re having incest sex.” Mickey and Mandy both violently shuttered at the thought.

  “Okay Fix-it Felix, fucking help me then,” Mickey placed the laptop back onto his sister’s lap and laid down in his bed.

  “Fuck, Mickey,” she replied, “I can’t do it right now, I have so much fucking homework due this week.”

  “Fuck homework!”

  She sighed loudly, “I wish I could shithead, but I need to actually do well if I want to get into a good school afterwards, I’ve already tried to finish my last year of school two times before.”

  “You only actually finished the school year last year,” Mickey pointed out.

  “Okay if you’re getting technical, then I’m not fucking helping,” she threw his laptop on the ground violently and stormed out of his room.

  “Wait, fuck, Mandy,” He begged to the back of her head as she left.

  He moved down his bed to pick up the laptop, hoping it was okay. ‘Thank fuck my whole floor is covered in clothes and shit,’ he thought as he opened it back up to the email still waiting for the reply that would never come.

  Ian knew it was coming. After David left his front door a couple of hours ago he knew that he would bring back-up, and that meant Megan.

  Megan reminded Ian of his older sister, caring, nurturing, born to be the perfect mother to everyone they meet. That’s why Ian had befriended her, and that’s why he regretted it two years ago after his first bad episode since leaving home.

  Ian and Megan were going to get dinner that night, but he had been so depressed that he couldn’t move from the couch. Megan had called and called, knocked on his door and then lastly gotten the landlord to open his front door.

  The landlord, Kermit, had just thought that Ian must have been sleeping in the living room, but allowed Megan to stay in the apartment. He knew that the two of them had become close friends as whenever he entered either of their apartments for inspections, he would find them both huddled on the couch that occupied that apartment’s lounge room. Megan’s was much more comfortable than Ian’s cheap couch. It also always smelt like lavender, just like Megan’s clothes, which had become Ian’s favourite scent since moving.

  Megan had stayed with him through the night, forcing him to eat a few biscuits and drink a glass of water before she had guided him to his bedroom and tucked him in.

  Mickey knew he should get some sleep, it had just passed 2am, 24 hours since a reply, but Mickey couldn’t look away from his computer screen. Mandy had finally told him her idea to fix his mess earlier that night, but he just couldn’t send it.

  “Just tell him,” she started, “that you didn’t mean to take it that far.”

  “What?” That’s the answer that Mickey had waited for, “like fucking apologise?”

  “Yeah, just say you’re sorry that you took it to far,” she replied exhaling the smoke in her lungs, “and that you’re excited to just hang out on Sunday night.”

  Mickey took the cigarette from his sister’s hand and took a drag, looking at her face with confusion. “Like fuck I’m going to apologise.” He finally responded after a few minutes, “It was part of the fucking game we had.” He took one more drag before handing it back to his sister.

  She shrugged, “do you have any other better plans?”

  “Fuck off,” he responded standing up from their houses front step, planning to go inside and feel some warmth away from the Chicago fall, “I’m not getting you shit for that shit advice.”

  But now, looking back at his previous email, it was the only idea he had to mend this mess. Mickey kept telling himself to wait a few more minutes just in case Ian decided to respond, but Mickey knew that he had to be the one to email first or else nothing would happen.

  He hated apologising for anything, it was like admitting he was wrong, and Mickey was never wrong. But this stupid crush on the YouTuber had already made him say some stupid shit.

  ‘Might as well add some more shit,’ he reasoned with himself as he sent his email, breaking their back and forth banter.

 

  Ian didn’t have to wait long until Megan came running into his apartment, only a few hours since David had left, before she began inspecting his body for any new marks.

  “Have you done anything Ian?” she asked looking at both of his forearms, “have you hurt yourself?”

  He mumbles a no, and that enough for her to drop his arms and stop the inspection.

  “David is finding something for you to eat and drink, okay?” she soothed as she sat on the bed and rubbed his back through the covers of his blanket.

  Ian was transported back to that first night that Megan was there to comfort him. She stayed with him, sitting on the edge of his queen bed, until she knew that he was asleep, rubbing his back. She had slept on his couch that night, too worried to leave him alone.

  He had woken up feeling lighter, well light enough to move by himself as he made his way to the bathroom. Megan was already awake when Ian walked past the living room to the toilet.

  “Are you feeling better Ian?” She asked when he exited, standing up to greet him.

  He nodded, but his face showed her that he still wasn’t himself. She sighed and guided him to the couch.

  She had made him two pieces of toast, only one was eaten, and sat with him listening to his explanation of bipolar disorder.

  “My mum has it,” Ian concluded after enlightening Megan about the disease, “but I don’t, I just did a lot of drugs in my teenage years that are catching up on me.”

  “Ian,” Megan exhaled a breath she did not know she was holding onto, holding him by his shoulders, “have you seen a doctor? Psychologist? That all sounds so serious.”

  “I did when I was younger, when my family were certain that I was sick, who diagnosed me as bipolar, but I only stole the baby because of some fucked up coke I did a few night before,” he reasoned, “I’m not sick, even if the rest of my family thinks so.”

  “Okay Ian, I believe you,” Megan smiled at him, trying to ignore the stolen baby story that would be discussed on another night, “but if this happens again you have to call me, okay?” He nodded as an answer.

  Before she left for work that morning she asked for him to get a key to his apartment for her to be able to use if this ever happens and to keep her updated throughout the day.

  “And don’t fucking lie to me Ian,” she warned, “or I swear to God I will get David to fuck you up.” With that she turned the lights off and left his apartment, with a drowsy Ian falling asleep on the couch.

  “Here you go Ian,” David said, pulling Ian back to the present. He was greeted with a smiling David carrying a piece of bread and a glass of water, “Megan has just used your bathroom for a second.”

  He took the water, drinking a few sips before handing it back to David and rolling over in his bed, hiding his head under the covers.

  “Do you want...?” David began but was interrupted by Ian’s low growl, a clear sign to get out of his bedroom.

  Ian could hear his bedroom door close softly and then the hushed whispers from the couple outside his room.

  “What do we do?” David asked. His voice shook a little as this was the first bad time he had ever seen of Ian’s life and he didn’t know what to do.

  “We just have to wait it out,” Megan replied sadly, “He will be up and at it again in a few days.”

  “Okay,” David responded, uncertainly.

  Ian willed himself to get out of his bed and hug the two nicest people he had met here in Los Angeles, but he felt like he was being crush under a mountain and he was not getting out of that for a while. He then began to will himself to get better by tomorrow because he needed to pack and catch a plane on Saturday morning to visit his family. If he missed that, he knows that Fiona will fly out here herself to check on him and be extremely disappointed that he hadn’t been taking his medication for the past two years.

  ‘C’mon,’ he urged to himself, ‘c’mon, you need to get up.’


	5. Friday

    Ian was woken up by David lightly tapping his shoulder. Not that Ian was actually sleeping, he had been awake for the past 20 minutes, and he just didn’t have to energy to get out of bed. He was feeling the same that he had yesterday, miserable and heavy, too tired to think.

  “Ian,” David whispered loudly as he tapped him lightly, “Ian, you need to pack.”

  Ian stayed still, hoping that David would leave soon. He kept his eyes closed and his breathing deep to continue the façade.

  “Ian, please,” David began to beg, “Please get up, we can’t pack for you. And you need to get on the plane. And see your family, remember?!”

  Family was the last thing he wanted to hear right now, he could already hear Fiona’s worried and angry voice over the phone.

  “Why aren’t you in Chicago?” She would yell, “Did something happen to you that made you lose your legs, and also your voice?” Before the worrying side of his sister would show, “Ian, are you okay? Are you taking your medication?”

  Ian just couldn’t deal with the questions, from Fiona or David, so he opened his eyes.

  “Oh, you’re awake!” David exclaimed, “I’m going to make you some breakfast and then we will go through packing and shit together, okay?” He rubbed Ian’s shoulder tenderly before leaving his room without closing the door or hearing an answer.

  Ian’s movements were slow, demonstrating how his head felt that morning. Picking up his IPhone from his bedside table, he checked the time and all the notifications he had missed during the past 30 hours. There were too many mentions from Twitter to go through, too many notifications from both his private and public Facebook accounts, a few missed calls and dozens of emails waiting to be opened. All the calls had come from either Megan or David’s numbers so they were easy to ignore, but he knew Fiona will call today to make sure everything is alright. He quickly scrolled through his mentions, most of them from his worried Chicago fans asking about the meet and greet details, details that Ian was meant to send out yesterday. He continued onto his Facebook notifications, which included a lot of the same questions from Twitter, and invites to play _Pirate Kings_ , Debbie was addicted.

  Then he moved to his emails. Most of them were junk emails that he was too lazy to subscribe from and notifications from his various social media sites. Most of it was normal, except for the two emails he left til last.

 

  _A fucking date third-wheeled by my sister is what gets you hard?_

Ian checked the time that it was sent, ‘2:32am on Thursday morning?’ It must have been just after he went to bed that night. Silently cursing himself on the lateness he opened the latest one.

 

  _I’m sorry if that last email freaked you the fuck out or whatever but my sister still really fucking wants to see you for dinner so just email back on if we’re cool or not_

  ‘ _Fcuk-U-Up_ probably thinks I am the lamest person ever,’ Ian sighed, as he thought of what excuse to use to send back. He still really wanted to meet this stranger and didn’t want to create another second of doubt, so as soon as he thought of his excuse it was sent through the internet.

  “Ian, breakfast is ready,” David called from the kitchen. Ian gave himself another minute to will his body to move from his comfortable bed and place one foot in front of the other. He grabbed some dirty clothes from his bedroom floor to place over his semi-naked body and greeted David and his breakfast.

  “Smells nice,” Ian commented softly, as he tried hard to move his feet enough to get to the bar stool that looked into his kitchen over the island. To be honest Ian couldn't smell anything, his senses weren't working how they usually did, but compliments are always nice, especially to someone making him breakfast.

  “Dude,” David replied, “I only cooked burnt toast, and you don’t have to be nice. We all know I suck at anything to do with this,” he gestured to the whole kitchen, “This is Megan’s area of expertise.” He laughed lightly as he placed the two black pieces of toast in front of Ian with a selections of spreads scattered on the kitchen island.

  David watched intently as Ian slowly picked up his knife and looked at it for a second.

  “I’m not going to do anything,” Ian sighed as he opened the butter container, “Stop staring at me.”

  “Right,” David responded flustered, “sorry, it’s just that Megan…”

  “Of course she told you,” Ian muttered under his breath as he spread the butter onto his toast thick.

  “I’m, just, uh, sorry.” David looked around the kitchen for something to do, to stop weirding Ian out, but he could not find anything, “Uh, do you need anything?”

  Ian just shook his head as he bit into a slice of toast.

  David began cleaning up the mess on the counter, putting all the spreads he had taken out back to their original positions. But that job was finished before Ian had gone through half a slice of toast, and David felt lost again.

  Ian felt bad for David, he knew how David felt right now, helpless, confused. Ian had experienced all this when his saw his mother have her first depressive episode.

  He was so scared. He had heard the stories that Fiona and Lip had told him. The ones about their mother not getting out of bed for days, not eating, and hurting herself. Ian tried to help as much as a 3 year old could, but that wasn’t much in comparison to what Monica really needed. She needed real professional help, something their deadbeat father wouldn’t allow.

  But Ian was different, he wasn’t in bed for days, he was eating right now, and he hadn’t hurt himself for a long time. Ian wasn’t Monica.

 

 

  Mickey woke up the next morning in bliss. He had had a great dream about him and his sister finally being happy, moving out of Southside, he was comfortable in his single bed and there was no yelling or bottle being smashed in the house. Mickey might have almost said that he was not happy, but content when it hit him. The embarrassment, shame, guilt and remorse that he had bottled up last night exploded in his body. He unintentionally groaned out loud as he tried to hide himself under his cigarette-stained pillow away from all those feelings, but it didn’t work. He didn’t even want to check if Ian had replied, it was probably an answer that Mickey didn’t want to read. Maybe he’d ask Mandy to check it for him later.

  He got up and moved towards the kitchen where he saw his brothers and Terry drinking.

  “What the fuck did I tell you?” Terry boomed, “You listen to me in this fucking house, understood?”

  Mickey saw Iggy cower as he nodded.

  Terry downed the beer in his hand, “fucking good.” He pushed his chair back, dragging it on the floor, as he got another beer, not breaking eye contact with the eldest son until he made it to the fridge.

  Iggy finished the beer next to him too, but was smart enough to have a few full ones around him so he didn’t leave the table and get the wrath of Terry again. Actually the whole dining table was littered with full and empty cans.

  “What the fucks going on?” Mickey asked in the least aggressive way he could as he sat in the empty seat next to Tony.

  “What the fuck does it look like?” Terry responded, “Were having a good time!” He sat back down at the head of the table and took a swig of beer.

  “Yeah, before we have to get up early tomorrow to fucking work,” Tony continued.

  “You’re late to the party Mickey,” Iggy concluded.

  ‘Shit,’ Mickey thought, it was Friday. He only had today to think of an excuse good enough to allow him to stay home over the weekend, and one that wouldn't give him a black eye. But he might as well keep up appearances, he concluded as he grabbed a full beer can from the centre of the table. It was cheap shit, beer that Mickey could only tolerate the smell and taste of. But he still downed it in a few mouthfuls. Milkovich’s never turn down day-drinking, or any drinking for that matter.

 

  Later that day he was walking his sister back from school, trying to think of excuses that Mickey could use.

  “Fuck Mickey!” Mandy exhaled, “You’ve had all fucking week to think of something, and you still haven’t?”

  Mickey’s shrug in response got him a slap on the back of his head.

  “God, you are fucking useless,” She took another drag before handing the cigarette to her brother.

  “Yeah the whole of fucking Chicago know that,” Mickey sighed as he grabbed the cigarette, “Just think of something or we ain’t going out.”

  “Okay shitface,” Mandy began as she grabbed the cigarette from Mickey’s fingers, “What if you found your own work for the weekend?”

  “Where the fuck am I going to find another piece of work now?” Mickey huffed angrily.

  “You can’t seriously be that stupid?” Mandy asked.

  Mickey thought about it for a few moment before he understood. “Right, I’m fucking lying to Terry ain’t I?”

  Mandy just laughed at her stupid brother as they turned into their street.

 

 

  Ian hated when people thought he was weak. He went to the gym almost every day, he ate healthily, and he kept physically strong. That part of Ian Gallagher was untouchable. But when he was perceived as mentally weak, he hated himself for days for allowing himself to be weak and to allow others to think that he needs help.

  ‘Which I don’t, thank you very much,’ he wanted to tell David as they were packing for his trip tomorrow. Now that Ian was up, had a shower and some toast, he was feeling stronger. Not strong yet, but stronger, and it would only get better from there.

  “So three or four shirts?” David asked, holding several of Ian’s shirts in his hands. They were sitting on Ian’s bedroom floor with a small suitcase in between them. All of Ian’s essentials had been packed, including the bipolar medications he would pretend to take in front of his family, so now it was only clothing choices left.

  “Three,” Ian decided, if he really needed another one he would steal of Lip.

  “So one nice one for Sunday and the other two…” David trailed off pointing to the other shirts in Ian’s collection.

  “Two nice shirts,” Ian responded. And prayed for David to not ask about it.

  “Two nice shirts?” David responded.

  ‘Fuck,’ Ian mentally kicked himself.

  “Why two? You’re hanging out with your family on Saturday and just flying home on Monday, unless I’m missing something?” David asked, hinting at something Ian did not want to talk about.

  The email had still not been replied to and Ian was worried that he had left it too late and that he would never meet this _Fcuk-U-Up_ character. Ian just shrugged in response to David.

  “Okay,” David sang as he made another pile of the nicer shirts that Ian owned, “Which other one do you want to take?” Ian pointed to a dark grey button down and shifted on the floor to get his mobile.

  He had been checking it every few minutes throughout the day so that he would not miss the next email from this stranger, but so far they have all been about his Twitter mentions, people getting excited about seeing him on Sunday since he finally released the details.

  David finished packing for him and invited Ian for dinner that night.

  “What are you having?” Ian wasn’t the least bit interested in being babied again tonight, but didn’t want to seem rude.

  “Megan’s going to bring something home after work,” David replied as he zipped up Ian’s suitcase, “we could watch a movie?”

  “I would love to,” Ian replied with as much gratitude as he could, “but I’ve still got some details to work out with my sister about tomorrow and that might take a while. Also you’ve both already hung out with me for so long today and yesterday that I think you guys need your own time.”

  “Okay, of you want to hang out though, just call,” David responded as he stood from the floor, “Seriously you won’t be intruding.”

  “Thanks David,” Ian replied as he walked David to the front door, “really for everything.” As soon as David was out, Ian locked the door, and dropped on the floor, hugging his knees. He was exhausted. Being around David all day, watching Ian’s every move, trying to do everything for Ian, and Ian having to act grateful throughout it all was draining.

  Ian gave a quick text to his sister saying how excited he is to see her before he stood up, stripped, and collapsed in bed, allowing all of today to wash over him before the sadness crept in again.

 

 

  The last thing Mickey remembered before he blacked out was Mandy’s horrified face.

  When he came back, he was greeted with the same face, he was just in a different position.

  “Okay, you’re okay,” Mandy respired, “Good, thank god!” She looked relieved.

  “What happened?” Mickey asked. He tried to sit up, now noticing that he was laying on their uncomfortable beer reeking couch, but the pounding in his head intensified when he tried.

  “Oh shit, you don’t remember?” Mandy went back to her worried face, her eyebrows scrunched up, and her eyes full of fear.

  Mickey shook his head with as little movement as possible.

  “Okay, so do you remember the plan?” She began, and a nod from Mickey let her continue. “Well, okay, so you told Terry that you found another job or whatever then he lost it, saying you were, like, trying to ruin his business or whatever, then you tried to defend yourself, which only made him more angry, and he had been drinking a lot today so that also factors in, anyway, so he punched you in the face several times before you got a punch back and then he got really angry and you know, really got heavy, the boys tried to help but they were too scared, Terry was fucking pissed at you. But yeah, it was hard-core.”

  Mickey started feeling a lot more of his injuries as his sister told the shorthanded tale of what happened, the possibly broken rib, bruises starting to form on his stomach and worst of all, his black eye.

  “Shit.”

  “Yeah, but on the bright side,” Mandy enthused, “all the boys went to the Alibi room to get more liquor so I went on the laptop and checked you emails and you got one from Ian!”

  She positioned the screen so her brother could see it as he laid on the couch.

 

  _No, we lost internet over here yesterday so I only saw your message this morning. Your sister is definitely not the one getting me hard though ;)_

  Mickey tried to control the blush that was creeping up his neck. He had done a pretty good job on keeping his sexuality a secret for the past 21 years, but Ian was pushing it. His sister though saw the blush easily.

  “Aww, Mickey has a crush on ginger Gallagher,” she teased, poking his stomach, “Who’s got a crush, oh Mickey has a crush.”

  “Shut the fuck up,” he replied, although there was no bite in the remark, he was just scared shitless that she would figure out the truth, “He’s the one with the fucking crush.” He changed the subject onto Ian as swatted her hands away and slowly sat up. Mandy handed him some vodka and he took it gratefully as he drank out of the bottle, trying to numb the pain in his body.

  “Man, I hope he likes bad boys,” she provoked. Mandy had known Ian was gay ever since Ian himself had known. Even though she still had a small crush on the ginger, she had accepted him and they stayed best friends. Now it was common knowledge in the neighborhood that Ian was gay.

  “The fuck?” Mickey replied confused.

  “Because you’re going to look badass seeing him with that black eye,” she laughed.

  He laughed along empty of emotion as he actually began to worry how Ian would think about the black eye when they finally met again. God Mickey had it bad.


	6. Saturday - Part 1

  Mickey woke up feeling like all his bones and muscles had been hit by a truck. But he had felt worse, like that time Terry found out that Mickey was smoking the pot they were meant to be selling. Terry had been so angry at the loss of profit that he had beat Mickey up so hard that Mickey couldn’t move for a week.

  ‘So being hit by a truck is a good feeling,’ Mickey concludes as he tried to get out of his single bed slowly. The aches and pains had already settled in his bones and he could feel it intensely when he moved his legs to walk to the bathroom. Only when he started peeing once he finally made it to the bathroom he noticed how much alcohol he consumed the night before. He still felt the drunk hazy brain feeling as he stood against the toilet. Then felt the acid sting run up his throat as he fell to his knees and vomited in the bowl.

  He quickly left the bathroom, ignoring the pain he felt everywhere, and washed his mouth out with the bottle of vodka that was almost empty that laid beside his bed before spitting it out the window into the neighbours backyard.

  Following the smell of waffles, he slowly made his way back out of his room and into the kitchen where he was greeted with Mandy’s chirpy face.

  “Morning,” she smiled as Mickey sat down at the dining table, “How’s your head?”

  He grunted a reply and took the two aspirin tablets that Mandy had left for him on the table.

  “Okay,” she replied as she plated up the waffles, “Well my head is great thanks for asking.”

  “You didn’t drink anything last night,” Mickey responded, trying to remember if what he just said was true.

  “Yeah, so, it’s polite to fucking ask,” she grumbled as she set the plate of hot waffles on the dining table and picking one up for herself, “fuck it’s hot.”

  They continued eating in silence, only speaking to complain about the temperature of the waffles and the lack of topping the house had. They didn’t speak any more about the night before, about the beating, about Terry or about the email. The waffles had also settled Mickey’s stomach as he didn’t feel the need to continue his vomit session from before.

  He was constantly thinking about the email though over breakfast, reminding himself of the words Ian had responded with. It made his heart flutter, the idea of being wanted by Ian, and even though he tried to control that feeling by reminding himself that Ian isn’t gay, he still had hope.

  Mandy finished the last waffle before any conversation began again between the siblings.

  “So, you excited for tomorrow night?” She asked and responded to the question herself, “Because I am, I haven’t seen Ian Gallagher for two years and now I am finally seeing him tomorrow!”

  Mickey only replied with a mumble, not really listening to his sister continue talking about her long lost best friendship with the ginger. He was still thinking of how to respond to such a forward email and it was taking all his concentration he could muster that morning.

  She kept talking for a few minutes before Mickey felt her kick his shin under the table.

  “Oh, fuckbrain,” She snapped, “listen to me. Where the fuck are we going to see him?”

  “What?” Mickey replied, bending down to soothe his now painful shin.

  “Did you think of a place to have dinner?” And honestly Mickey hadn’t thought about it one bit, but told his sister that he had the night all planned out.

  “And,” Mickey continued, “I will email him now telling him where to meet us.” He crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows, asking for his sister to continue questioning him. But she just smiled and grabbed all the dirty dishes from the table, moving them into the sink to deal with later. She then waltz out of the house, yelling out to Mickey about meeting a friend.

  “And don’t forget to email him!” She called out as she walked out the front door.

  Mickey was now alone in the house. He didn’t want to get up from the dining chair, his bones still aching, but decided to check the damage from last night in the bathroom. His movements were still slow as he moved one foot in front of the other, a mixture of pain and alcohol, until he made it to the mirror. The reflection showed a nasty looking black eye, bruising all around his eye socket and moving down to his cheekbone. He hesitantly touched it before moving lower down his body. He pulled off his shirt, slowly and painfully, to examine the outside damage. He had several dark bruises where Terry must have kicked him along his left ribcage. There were also some smaller bruises scattered around his chest and arms, not showing the full pain of how Mickey felt underneath. He must have also been pushed hard or fallen hard on the floor as his lower back and upper thighs were bruised as well. Mickey concluded that all the bruises should be invisible and healed in about a week. But until then Mickey would be in constant pain.

  ‘Thank god there was no round two,’ Mickey thought as he made his way back to the living room, now holding his laptop he grabbed from his room, ‘because round two was always worse with Terry.’

  He sat down gradually, trying not to irritate his back, into the couch and opened his laptop. The first screen he was shown was Ian’s latest email.

  “Fuck,” Mickey exclaimed, after a few minutes of thinking of a reply, and getting nothing. He rationally didn’t want to let Ian know that he was gay, but this new emotional side wanted Ian to know that Mickey wanted him. Craved him. That Mickey had wanted Ian for years. “Fuck.”

  He then tried to call Mandy, but she didn’t reply. ‘Probably busy on someone’s dick,’ Mickey assumed.

  “Oh fuck it,” Mickey couldn’t think of anything to say back so he just wrote what Mandy had told him, a plan for Sunday night. He sent it feeling embarrassed and weak about his response.

 

 

  Ian woke up feeling so much better Saturday morning. He felt like he was on top of the world. Looking at his phone he realised that he had actually woken up before his alarm was meant to wake him up.

  ‘I have time for a quick run,’ Ian decided and quickly changed into his workout gear before leaving his apartment.

  During his run, he waved at every one he saw with a huge grin on his face. It was only a couple of people who were out this morning, it was still dark outside, but Ian loved seeing new and different people, not just David and Megan.

  He made it back to his flat, still before his alarm had set off. Ian had a shower and washed his hair then changed into the clothes David and him had decided on the night before, comfy airplane clothes. He was still beating his alarm, so he decided to make himself a huge breakfast. He started making pancakes, and waffles, and toast, and bacon all in his small kitchen. As he was about to plate up his alarm went off.

  “Hello?” Ian heard a voice enter his flat a few moments later.

  “Oh, Megan!” he ran to the door greeting her like he hadn’t seen her in months, “I was going to call and ask if you wanted to have breakfast with me.” He led her into the kitchen.

  “Wow, you made a lot,” she commented, “what time did you get up to do all this?”

  “Well, I actually got up at about 3am,” Ian replied, talking quite fast, “I then decided to go for a run and that took about an hour than I had a shower and started making all this food and now it’s time to eat!” He smiled as he sat back on the barstool facing the kitchen island.

  Megan hesitated for a moment before sitting down next to him, grabbing the plate of pancakes. She then began asking Ian about the trip, if he had packed everything, if he needed her to do anything else.

  “No need, Megan,” Ian replied bubbly, “as long as you drive me to the airport we are set.” They then continued eating in silence, only commenting on the food.

  After they had finished, Ian quickly cleaned all the dishes while Megan grabbed his suitcase from Ian’s bedroom. They made their way down to Megan’s car together making polite conversation about the weather.

  Once they had been driving for a few minutes Megan asked about Ian’s mood.

  “Are you feeling okay Ian?” she asked, trying her best not to sound condescending.

  “Of course!” Ian enthused, “I’m seeing my family in a few hours and I haven’t seen them in years, than I’m having a meet up with my fans tomorrow and I’m so excited for that as well, and then dinner with a stranger who I am so excited to meet.”

  Megan smiled as a response.

  “Wow, sorry I said excited a few times there didn’t I?” Ian laughed as he realised.

  They continued driving not speaking to each other, but singing to the crappy pop songs playing out of Megan’s car speakers until they made it to the airport.

  “You sure you’re okay?” Megan asked through her car window as he exited her car and began to make his way into the airport.

  “Of course I am! I’ll see you in a couple of days,” Ian replied waving to her as he made his way inside.

  After he checked in and made his way to the gate, there was still over an hour of time to kill, so Ian sat down at one of the chairs at his gate and pulled out his phone.

  The first app he had been opening all week was his email account, constantly checking if he had gotten a new message from _Fcuk-U-Up_. But he was severely disappointed when he opened it this morning and didn’t see a reply. He quickly recovered though by answering his sister text, telling her that he was in the airport. He then kept himself busy replying to mentions and direct messages on Twitter and replying to fans comments on Facebook for the rest of the hour.

  The 3 hour plane trip was difficult though. Ian felt like he was buzzing with energy, he felt like he just had to get up and move. His suffocating window seat also put him on edge, making him feel too confined. Both of his legs were shaking constantly, and even after being told by the couple on his left to stop moving his legs, he couldn’t stop them. This energy was too much for his body to control. He tried to talk his liveliness out of his system to the old couple who smelt like fast food next to him, but they gave him a hard stare and ignored him for the rest of the plane ride. He then tried listening to the music on his phone, but all that made him want to do was dance, he tried to, but sitting in the window seat made it difficult to move without bumping either the window or the old man sitting next to him. He then tried to move into the aisle, thinking that he could walk some of the energy off, but the man wouldn’t let him out, refusing to move his tray out of the way. Ian was struggling to hold in all the excess energy he felt, so he decided to write. He pulled out his phone, opened the notes app, and began writing all the thoughts that were running around in his head. Concentrating on the one task used a lot of Ian’s energy and writing out the thoughts circulating his mind help him feel more relaxed.  He had not even noticed the tension building in his shoulders made up by all the balled up energy until he felt them loosen up.

  He wrote for almost the whole plane ride, having ideas continue to form in his mind. Most of them were video topics that he could talk about on his channel, but some were about the mysterious content creator that he was meeting tomorrow night.

  The moment that they landed, Ian was quick to turn his data on, checking his email, wondering if he had a reply, and he did.

 

  _Look, we still haven’t figured out where we’re meeting so does Sizzlers sound okay? At like 7pm? The one around our neighbourhood, you know it?_

  Ian was slightly disappointed that there was no flirty undertone to this email. It sounded like he was sending it to his boss, there was no fun in it. Ian read through it once more as people around him were starting to get up out of their seats and grab their luggage from the overhead areas, then had a thought that grounded him for a second.

  ‘Wait,’ Ian thought, ‘how does he know that I know that Sizzlers?’ Ian began thinking about it and continued thinking about it as he made his way through the airport to catch a taxi.

  ‘Maybe he remembers me from that area?’

  ‘Maybe they’re a random hook up I had in high school?’

  ‘Maybe it’s an old friend?’

  After that last thought, Ian got very excited once more, his thoughts flying everywhere. He started thinking about all the friends that he hadn’t seen in all those years and tried to figure out if they could have made those short films on the channel.

  Ian replied to the email after he got a taxi, put his luggage in the trunk and sat in the backseat, telling the driver where to go.

 

  _Okay, Mr. Serious, that sounds perfect. I should be finished up with what I have on Sunday before then. I will also have some free time after dinner as well if we need it._

  He was trying to continue the flirty way of conversation they had had. It was fun to Ian and he hoped his mystery date hoped so too. Ian then sent a text to his sister about his approximate time of arrival at her house, before starting conversation with the driver. He was a middle-aged man who Ian had learnt just came back from Australia for his daughter’s wedding, before his phone buzzed. He continued listening to the driver’s story on how the newly married couple met, as he read a new email from _Fcuk-U-Up._

 

_Hmmmm… and how much time would you think we would need afterwards. I have additional commitments other than your ass._

  ‘Wow, that was quick,’ Ian thought, ‘and hot.’ Ian started to completely ignore the taxi driver as he replied straight away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first part of Saturday in the story, and the next one will be out soon


	7. Saturday - Part 2

  _I think it would be best if you cancelled all other commitments that night, I’m leaving Chicago the next morning_

  Mickey was surprised to see the reply email only 30 minutes after he had sent his.

  Mandy kicked his side, “What are you smiling about?” she questioned. He quickly recovered and gave her one of his usual grim expression. They were sitting in the living room on their lumpy couch watching a romantic comedy that neither of the Milkovich’s were interested in. Mandy had come back from her ‘friends’ a few minutes before smelling like jizz and whisky, which Mickey didn’t think he needed context for.

  “Nothing,” he replied trying to sound tough, pushing his laptop screen away from his sisters’ point of view.

  She noticed the suspicious behaviour almost instantly though, “Was it Ian Gallagher?” She pounced trying to grab the screen to see, “Did he say anything? Is he okay for tomorrow?”

  Mickey whacked his sisters’ fingers away as he replied with a short nod. “He is fucking fine with it all alright?” She gave up after that understanding that she was not to get anything other information from her brother.

  “Fine,” she huffed, kicking him one more time in the shin before relaxing back into the sofa and turning back to the movie on their small screen.

  Mickey readjusted his position again on the loveseat to make sure that Mandy couldn’t see the emails.

 

  _They are kind of important commitments assface, I need to know what you had planned before I make any changes_

 

  Ian’s taxi had just parked in front of his childhood home when his phone vibrated again with the notification of a new email. But Ian, already buzzing with the thought of seeing his family again didn’t feel it. Instead Ian left his taxi driver, who Ian learnt was named Will as he was in the middle of telling Ian about how he and his wife had gotten married, and his luggage to run up the front steps and into the house.

  “Ian!” A chorus of cheers sang as they all saw Ian enter the living room. They all stood from their different seats quickly to race to be the first one to welcome Ian home.

  “Hey!” Ian cried back as he felt several different bodies rush up and hug him tightly, almost knocking the ginger over. Then several voices yelled over the top of one another as they began to ask him their different questions at once.

  “How are you?”

  “How was the trip?”

  “Are you seeing anyone?”

  “Why has it been so long?”

  “Where’s your luggage?”

  Ian’s head was spinning with all the different voices and questions that were attacking him at that moment, but he had heard that last question loud and clear as he tried to identify the voice. “Oh shit Fi,” he responded, “I left it at the taxi.”

  “I’ve got it,” Ian heard his sister reply as she left the Gallagher hug to fetch his bag.

  Ian yelled out his thanks as she left the house and he was guided by his younger sister and brothers to the couch. A new couch Ian realised, but it seemed to be old news to the rest of his family. It was also already looking old, with several cigarette stains, questionable stains and the fraying of the cushions. Ian was still examining the new and bigger couch when he realised there was a silence in the house. He looked up to see Debbie sitting on his left, with her big eyes staring at him, and Carl on his right, looking at him in the same questioning gaze.

  “What?” Ian asked looking between the two of them.

  “Uh, we asked how you are?” Lip replied uncomfortably. He was sitting in one of the arm chairs to the side of the room. Those were new as well, Ian realised, they were the same dark brown as the new couch, but also just as wrecked. Liam was sitting in the adjacent chair, looking very mature to Ian.

  “Yeah I’m great,” Ian replied still concentrating on the new furniture. As he quickly scanned the room, it seemed that everything had changed. There was a new coffee table, curtains, television and even the walls were painted a new colour, a light beige. “When did you get all this new stuff?”

  They all laughed at his question.

  “We’ve had all this stuff since Carl had the accident.” Debbie began.

  “Accident?” Ian couldn’t remember hearing about any accidents that he had missed since moving out.

  “Yeah, with the fire?” Lip continued trying to surface the memory from his brother’s brain.

  “Fire?” Ian was still confused.

  “Remember I tried to get into making meth?” Carl continued.

  “Meth?” Now Ian was really lost, this wasn’t anything he had heard before.

  “We were low on money, Debs lost her job at the store and Carl was watching _Breaking Bad_ and thought it was a good idea,” Lip explained, “do you not remember this?”

  Ian shook his head still very confused about the story.

  “Well he did a Peggy and blew up his lab and this room,” Lip chuckled along with Ian’s other siblings, “we all thought that maybe he was bipolar too but he is just a psycho.”

  Ian winced at the word _bipolar_ but recovered quickly to laugh along with his crazy family. Fiona had walked back into the house sometime during the story with Ian’s bag and continued catching Ian up with what had been happening.

  Ian tried to concentrate on what his family were telling him, but too many thoughts were running through his mind that there were stories that he just didn’t get or hear. But he had gotten the basics of what had happened in the Gallagher house since he was gone. Fiona was married to someone she had known for less than a week, but now they were divorced and she was seeing her boss. Lip was in his final years at school and he had already gotten several job options for when he does leave, he was also seeing a few girls and one professor. Carl hadn’t been back in juvie and was actually trying in school, this was all due to a boy that he had started hanging around and holding hands with. Debbie had a pregnancy scare but was now focused on school and her future, she wants to be a teacher. And Liam was starting school soon.

  After a few hours of catching up, and then catching up with Kev and Veronica who dropped by and were still happily together with their daughters, Fiona began to cook dinner, with the other girls help. Lip and Kevin moved outside as they began talking about some bet they had on some sports team next weekend and Carl became engrossed on his phone. All the novelty of Ian being home had been lost. He decided to check his phone as well. He went through his emails, smiling when he saw the new one from _Fcuk-U-Up._ He replied straight away smirking at his response before his brother grabbed his attention.

  “So how have you been?” Carl asked, not looking up from his phone. Ian assumed that Carl was talking to him, no one else was in the living room at that moment.

  Ian looked away from his phone and to his younger brother, “I already told you…”

  “Not like that,” Carl interrupted turning away from his phone screen, “like with your mood and shit.”

  Ian saw the seriousness in his brother’s face and worry in his eyes.

  Carl continued, “Like whenever you call us, you never talk about it.” He then dropped eye contact with Ian and looked back to his phone, “we are all just worried.”

  “I’m fine,” Ian began the usual lie that he would tell any of his siblings when they asked, “I’ve been taking my medication and exercising and I have a routine, sleeping early, waking early, socialising, everything the doctor said I should do.”

  “Are you sure?” Carl looked back up to his brother, now looking relieved.

  “Of course I’m sure,” Ian smiled, “you guys don’t have to worry about me. But I am worried about this new kid you’ve been hanging out with.”

  As Carl told Ian all about his new friend and possible boyfriend, Ian’s mind went elsewhere, thinking about tomorrow, the meet and greet, the dinner, who he was having dinner with.

 

 

  Mickey was not happy about the few hours that he had to wait for the reply, and neither was Mandy. She was constantly asking him every few minutes to check for new emails.

  “There’s nothing fucking there,” Mickey would always respond, gesturing to the laptop screen. And he was always correct. Before the conversation with Ian, Mickey had never gotten an email. He had only set it up to use for his YouTube channel and nothing else. And even though Mandy understood that he was speaking the truth, she still checked for him every few minutes, just in case her brother had missed something.

  Mandy checked his laptop again. It was sitting on the coffee table opened to Mickey’s email account when Mandy heard the notification and opened the new email.

  “Mick,” she hesitated, “what the fuck?”

  He grumbled as he sat up on the couch to look at what she was referring to.

 

  _Well I can tell you now that me eating your ass probably won’t happen after the first date, especially with your sister present. But it could be in the near future ;)_

  Mickey read the email. And read it again. And again before pulling it out of Mandys reach to respond quickly.

  Mandy looked at him confused, “Mick why the fuck are you talking about eating ass?”

  “Shut up bitch,” he threatened, but the anger was softened by the blush creeping up his neck. Which Mandy noticed, but didn’t comment on.

  “As long as you don’t do it at dinner, I’m happy.” She turned back to the screen where another movie was playing, this time a comedy.

  Mickey only grunted in response to his sister as he replied back, put the laptop down back onto the table and tried to forget that the past minute didn’t happen with a beer.

 

 

  Ian was beginning to feel at home. He was seated at his usual spot at the (new) Gallagher’s dining table, eating some of his favourite foods Fiona had cooked, interacting with his family again. He was so excited that he couldn’t control his legs from bouncing or his fingers from tapping on the wooden table, which was covered in small burn marks and stains as well. He was feeling overjoyed listening to Lips adventures with his new girls, Fiona’s dramas at the diner she was working at, Debbie explaining her future plans, Carl talking about the teams he’s on at school and Liam’s excitement for school. He was so happy that he didn’t notice the subtle glances his family member were sharing whenever he laughed too hard, or seemed too enthusiastic.

  After dinner they all sat around the table for a few more hours asking more about Ian’s life in LA. Ian only answered the questions briefly before trying to change the subject. He didn’t want to focus on his life, he wanted to know everything about what he had missed.

  “Made many friends Ian?” Fiona asked in the brief moment of silence before another conversation would start.

  Ian swallowed his food, “oh sure,” he replied. “There is a lovely couple living beneath me who invite me to dinner all the time and we hang out a lot. That reminds me, how are people from school? Like my friends, anyone heard from Mandy?”

  It took a few seconds for his family to respond, Ian was speaking so quickly that they were having trouble keeping up.

  “Oh Mandy,” Lip replied, “Yeah she’s still around.”

  “How is she? Is she still living in the same house? What about her brothers, father?”

  “Uh, yeah last I heard she is still living there with all her brothers and Terry.” Lip answered.

 “Surprised none of them are dead to be honest,” Fiona whispered loud enough for the whole table to hear. But Ian ignored her, now wanting more information on his ex-best friend.

  “So she is okay? Is she still at school? What is she doing?”

  Lip scratched his head as he thought, “Think she’s trying to finish high school with good grades to move to some nice collage.”

  “Okay good,” Ian was pleased that she was doing something for her future. “Maybe she could move to LA and live with me?”

  “Sure,” Lip laughed, “but maybe you should ask her if she’d want to do that.”

  "Didn’t she have a bad break up recently?” Debbie asked Lip, he was the only one who still had little contact with her.

  Lip sighed, “Yeah with some bastard named Kenyatta. He broke her nose when they broke up, smashed her face into a wall.” The whole table fell silent as Lip continued. “Now her face is all messed up, it never healed properly or something, I don’t know, but she’s a blonde now and she looks kinda hot.” He got two slaps on his arms from both Debbie and Fiona for that comment.

  “Wow,” was all Ian could reply with. He was thinking of how to make things better with her, to try and see her during the weekend until the next question was addressed to him.

  “So who are these two friends of yours?” Fiona asked.

 

  After dinner Ian was left alone at the table, Fiona and Carl were washing dishes, Debbie was getting Liam cleaned up and Lip was outside on the phone to one of his girls. Ian pulled out his phone to check his emails.

 

  _Fucking hell you still didn’t answer the question dumbass. Gotta know what I’m getting myself into tomorrow night_

  Ian grinned and began thinking of what he would want to do to this guy. He still didn’t have any idea on what this creator looked like, but it didn’t stop his imagination from filling in the blanks. His mind thought back to the videos on _Fcuk-U-Up_ ’s channel, trying to think of the actors from those short films when a woman entered his mind. She was blonde, thin, and had a mean look on her face. Her nose seemed crooked and she looked like she could beat anyone up. She had been in majority of the videos on the channel, playing the hard-edged female protagonist who let no man dictate her life.

  ‘Mandy,’ Ian thought, ‘Is that you?’ He thought back to those times where he and Mandy would hang out at her house, with all her brothers hanging around. He knew them all, they were very loud and protective of Mandy so they had all given Ian a talking to, scaring him into not doing anything to hurt her. But, Ian was now remembering another Milkovich who seemed very quiet and private, who didn’t talk to him at all about Mandy or anything. He was in Lip’s year at school until he dropped out. And if Ian remember correctly, he was kind of hot.

  Ian decided to investigate the mysterious Milkovich. “Hey Lip,” he greeted when Lip enter the house again.

  “Yo,” Lip replied sitting opposite Ian on the dining table, “What’s up?”

  “Do you remember the Milkovich from your year level?”

  Lip thought for a moment, “Yeah, Mickey right?” Ian nodded enthusiastically, Lip continued “Why are you asking?”

  “I think I’m meeting with him tomorrow,” Ian replied. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and replied to the latest email from him, ignoring the questions from his brother.

 

 

  Mickey was lying in bed with the laptop sitting on his chest. He had nothing better to do than sit and wait for the reply from Ian. Mandy had left him again going to another friend’s house, but not before reminding him to take some more painkillers. He had taken them with tequila he had found in one of his brothers bedrooms before he got comfortable in his current position. There was nothing on television or on YouTube that held his interest so he just waited. It wasn’t long though before he got the email.

 

  _Guess I’m just going to have to actually know who you are before plans are made, stranger. You could want to kill me, you are affiliated with the Milkovich’s right?_

  Mickey was shocked. How did Ian know? Had Ian known this whole time? Was he going to tell Terry? Was he going to tell everyone in his next video? How did Ian know that he was a Milkovich?

  He was terrified now, Ian was going to ruin this and Mickey’s life for what? Some dumb laughs? A few subscribers? He could feel panic rising up his throat, already consuming his stomach by making him feel queasy. He was finding it hard to breathe and to stop shaking.

  ‘Shit, shit, shit,’ Mickey thought as he continued reading the email leading himself to feel more anxious and horrified. He quickly replied back to the email needing to know answers.

 

  _How the fuck do you know I’m a Milkovich? What are you trying to say?_

  Ian felt threatened once again by this user as he read the newest email. He was now lying in his old bed waiting for sleep that would never come. He had felt too excited by being in his old room again in his old bed.

   He was happy that none of the furniture had changed upstairs, everything was exactly the same, and even the sleeping arrangements were the same. Lip, Fiona and Debbie all still had their own bedrooms while Carl and Liam shared in the same room. That Ian was now a guest in. Carl and Liam had quickly fallen asleep, both confessing that they had trouble sleeping the night before because of the excitement of seeing their older brother again.

  Now Ian was having that same problem, he couldn’t turn his brain off. So he replied to the now confirmed Milkovich.

 

_I didn’t know you were until you just told me, but it makes sense because Mandy is in your videos right? So that means you know me? Well knew me. Also sorry that joke before was insensitive._

 

  ‘Who the fuck did he think he was?’ Mickey thought as he read the latest email. His anxiety was still high as Ian hadn’t promised to keep this secret, but he felt a little better knowing that Ian wasn’t too scared to talk to him. But now he felt stupid for jumping to conclusions. He read the email before properly this time and realised that Ian hadn’t known he was a Milkovich, Mickey had panicked for nothing.

 

  _Sorry for freaking out, should have probably read the fucking email properly huh? Yeah that’s Mands and your joke was actually funny smartass_

_Hahaha, yeah reading is a good life skill to have just like being humorous two things Milkovich’s don’t have a lot of. Also you didn’t answer my other question, you know me right?_

_Fuck you! Milkovich’s are fucking better than your fucked up family, don’t need funny people for that shit_

_Agree to disagree on that one Milkovich, but I feel like you are avoiding my other question…_

_I’m not avoiding anything fuckhead course I fucking know you! You hung around here all the fucking time_

_So you are Mandys brother! But which one hmmmmmm…… I feel like I am at a slight disadvantage, you know me, but I don’t know you_

_You’ll fucking find out tomorrow night when this brother actually goes to the fucking dinner we have_

_Wow, you swear a lot but that does not help with figuring out which brother you are though. Also does this mean that Mandy is coming to dinner?_

 

_Yeah so don’t fucking reunite in front of me and fucking make out the whole time_

_Okay, that is noted. But what about us making out the whole time?_

_Fuck off man._

Ian decided to not reply to the last email, he was actually starting to feel tired. Thinking about reuniting with his old best friend and meeting his creative inspiration, who both happened to be from the same family allowed Ian to have a peaceful sleep.

 

 

  Mickey didn’t expect an email back that night. He couldn’t figure out how he knew that it was the end of their conversation, but he just knew. His anxiety had gone down considerably talking and joking with Ian, and that feeling had been replaced with nervousness and butterflies in his stomach. He kept trying not to think about Ian’s last email about them making out, but thinking about it actually happening allowed Mickey to have a peaceful sleep.


	8. Sunday - Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that it has taken almost a full month to update. After that finale and school getting stressful I didn't have a lot of motivation to finish this, but finally I have written something up

  “Ian?” Fiona quietly whispered, gently pushing his shoulder into the mattress, “You need to get up.” Ian stirred underneath her touch but didn’t wake up. “C’mon,” Fiona tried again shoving harder. He turned over from his back onto his side facing away from Fiona and groaned. “Seriously Ian, nothing’s changed since you’ve left.”

  She decided to give him a few more minutes to wake up properly. As she went to turn out of the room something caught her eye. In Ian’s struggle to move his body position, he had caused his bed covers to move and expose his upper body and arms. Which, Fiona noticed, were scarred. She was startled by the fine white lines running across Ian’s pale upper arms. She moved closer to his body to inspect, reaching her hand out to touch the damaged skin.

  “What are you doing?” Ian asked sleepily, moving his arms out of his sisters reach to rub his eyes.

  Fiona stuttered for a moment before gaining her composure, “I’m, uh, waking you up, kiddo, you got to get ready for all those fans.”

  “Fine, fine, I’ll be down soon.” Ian groggily replied, laying his arms over his head, covering his inner forearms.

  Fiona turned away from Ian to head back down the stairs, and to also hide the confusion and fear that she knew was showing in her eyes.

 

 

  “Oh, Mands,” Mickey yelled out, “I’m going out.”

  Mandy walked out her room a moment later, wearing only a long shirt, rubbing her eyes, and eyeliner, “Where?”

  “Out,” Mickey repeated with venom, “What’s it to you?”

  “You just don’t go out much shithead,” Mandy replied slowly, sounding like she was still waking up. She moved just as slowly as she spoke across the hall into the kitchen, passing Mickey as he was shoving his shoes on. “You look a little fancy today,” she commented.

  Micky flipped her his middle finger as response. When he finally got his shoes on properly, after minutes of struggle and Mandy giggling at him from the kitchen, he swore at is sister yet again and left the house.

  “Don’t miss our dinner date!” Mandy yelled after him as the front door slammed shut.

  He pulled the large stolen jacket closer to his body as he walked his way to the station.

  ‘She didn’t need to know where the fuck I’m off to,’ he thought angrily as he sat in the train carriage, ‘no one has to fucking know.’ Even Mickey didn’t want to think about it. It made him feel weak, lame, gay and those butterflies would attack like they were trying to escape through his stomach. Mickey rubbed his sweaty palms on his jeans, trying not to get a finger caught in the dozens of holes, when he also started feeling regret. ‘Why the fuck am I wearing this shit?’ he thought now looking closely into his attire. He didn’t feel like he was dressed up enough and that he might actually have looked homeless to others around him. The butterflies turned into a ball of shame that now sat in his stomach. He didn’t need people feeling bad or looking down on him.

  “Fuck,” Mickey sighed loudly to no one in particular.

 

  Ian made his way downstairs a few minutes after Fiona had woken him up, already dressed for the day, his usual long sleeved shirt and jeans. After Fiona had woken him up, Ian had realised that his arms had been exposed and that there was a high chance that Fiona would have noticed. There wasn’t much that Ian could hide from Fiona, especially when it was staring her right in the face. So he walked down the stars and greeted Fiona with an exaggerated smile.

  “Hey sleepyface,” Fiona smiled back handing Ian a cup of coffee, “how are you feeling?”

  Ian grabbed the coffee and took a sip, “Great, I’m so excited about today.” He tried to study her face, try to see if there was any hint of emotion or knowledge of what was on his arms.

  “Yeah, it should be exciting,” Fiona exclaimed, putting some bread in the toaster, one Ian had never seen before, “How many do you reckon will be there?”

  “Uh, not sure,” Ian replied, “a few hundred?”

  Fiona looked shocked at the answer, “Wow, all those people to see my baby brother?”

  “Don’t get all sappy on me now,” Ian laughed. They continued the light conversation as they ate breakfast and finished their coffees. He didn’t see any hint of emotion in Fiona’s face that indicated that she saw anything, but the growing ball of guilt in his stomach told him otherwise.

  He finished his toast and checked his phone, “Well, I better get moving,” Ian stretched and moved his dishes to the sink, “I have the taxi outside and I don’t want them waiting around for me.”

  “Okay,” Fiona replied, “but before you leave Ian…”

  Ian stopped in his tracks, the guilty feeling in the pit of his stomach felt much heavier now, “Yeah?”

  Fiona’s face showed that she was trying to process her thoughts and trying to think of what to say. A few second passed with a dreaded silence as Ian waited for the question from his sister, but nothing came out.

  “Be safe Ian,” was all Fiona could say as Ian nodded and made his way out of the family home.

  Ian had already ordered the taxi to take him to the meet and greet that morning as he was lying in bed. He didn’t really want to be smelling like piss and homelessness by the time he made it into the city on the train, he wanted to look presentable to his fans. He didn’t do these meet and greets often so he tried to show the best parts of himself. He had been feeling down all morning though, like he was coming off of a high. Everything seemed a little fuzzy in his head and he seemed to have a hard time thinking positively, but he needed to pull himself together if he didn’t want to disappoint his fans. As he sat in the taxi he quickly checked his mentions on Twitter, reading about how people had been waiting all morning for him to show up, hours before the actual event started. He was slightly lifted by the fact that people had been waiting to see him for that long. He smiled as he continued reading.

 

 

  No one could know that Mickey had been waiting around like an absolute twat for a good looking redhead who probably didn’t even know his name with a bunch of teenage girls who had the redheads’ name handwritten on their shirts. And he meant no one. Especially not the redhead in question.

  Mickey had been an hour early to the meet and greet of Ian Gallagher. He thought that he might have been the first one around and would be able to wait around looking like a tourist, but there was already a small crowd of young teenage girls at the meeting place. They were squealing and talking excitedly to each other. Mickey also noted the absurd amount of hand waving and small jumps that would stimulate the small crowd every so often. He didn’t even want to imagine what would actually happen with these girls when Ian finally arrived. Mickey checked his phone again for the time, 46 minutes left until Ian would be there.

  He could have taken the train afterwards and he would have still been early, that was the one he had been planning on taking that morning, but the excitement and curiosity of seeing Ian was eating him alive and he didn’t think he could sit at the station for another twenty minutes trying to shake his feelings away. Also this was the first time Mickey had ever actually been to Cloud Gate, the big bean thing that the city was famous for. He decided maybe he could explore and look around the park and bean for the hour, but he had gotten bored of it after a couple of minutes. Mickey didn’t see the big appeal. So now he had nothing to cure his boredom.

  “Fuck,” he sighed and lit up a cigarette trying to numb his nerves.

 

 

  Ian was nervous. Really nervous. The taxi driver, who definitely wasn’t as chatty as the one he met on his first day back in Chicago, had just turned onto the street that the event was taking place at and Ian was nervous. Reading peoples tweets and comments on how excited they were to meet him today had lifted his earlier low mood, but he was still feeling a little fuzzy, like he had had a few drinks. He felt a certain amount of pressure to act like his camera and social media self, and if he let anyone down, well that would definitely deflate his mood.

  He asked the taxi driver to drop him off a few blocks away so, he thought, he could walk out his nervousness and hopefully feel more comfortable. He wasn’t sure if it would work, but he was pretty desperate to try anything to relive the butterflies attacking his insides.

  He saw the big group of teenage girls waiting at the base of the bean first, all huddled around each other, some wearing colourful costumes and red wigs. His anxiousness grew as he walked closer to the group and the number of people began to grow as more joined the group coming from all directions. He begged that no one would see him too far away, a running mob of teenage girls was not what he needed right now.

  When he was only a few metres away from the base of the sculpture, the first girl saw him and began screaming. Ian didn’t know what to do so he smiled politely and waved at all the girls who had made it out to the meet and greet, but then more girls saw him and began screaming and before he knew it he was paralysed with fear as a large group of girls ran to him, screaming loudly. He had never experienced this kind of crazy before at any of his other meet and greets, most of the people were chill and just want a picture and to ask him a few questions. But Ian believed that some of these girls today in Chicago truly wanted to rip him apart and steal one of his organs. They all huddled around him, a few hundred metres away from the bean now, all yelling at him, telling them that they love him and he was so hot, throwing phones and bits of material and paper at his direction. Ian had no idea what to do. He was so startled his brain wasn’t functioning properly, not that he could actually hear anything other than the loud cries from the girls. He needed help.

 

 

  Mickey saw it happen before it actually did. He had seen too many drunken fights and turf wars begin to not see what was coming. Ian walking alone into a mob of young girls who idolised him was a disaster waiting to happen. Why did he not think this idea through and get security or something to protect himself? Ian was now vulnerable in the middle of a huge circle of crazed girls who looked like they would do anything to even touch him. They were violently pushing and pulling each other out of the way to get closer to the redhead, who looked petrified. His eyes were wide and he was not moving. Mickey thought that he may have actually gone into shock.

  He was still a few hundred yards away from the mob, but he felt compelled to do something to help Ian out. He didn’t even think, just acted on impulse as he stormed his way down to the girls to save his crush.

  By the time Mickey made it to the outskirts of the crowd, Ian was getting pushed and pulled on every limb by these girls. He needed to do something quick.

  “Oi, barbie dolls,” He addressed the pack in his most threatening voice, “Get the fuck off him and form a fucking orderly line behind me.”

  A few girls who were on the border of the group turned to him looking scared, but they didn’t move from their position.

  Mickey was surprised that none of the young girls followed his orders, thinking that the sreams and cries might have actually drowned him out so he needed to think of something else quick. The only plan that came to him was to physically drag Ian out of the mess and get a queue forming in front of him. ‘Yeah, that should work,’ Mickey decided.

  He quickly pushed past the girls who were on the outside of the circle, they weren’t hard to get past but the closer he got to the middle, the harder those girls stuck to their positions. Mickey had to become rather forceful by the time he got into the middle of the crowd but finally he could fully see Ian Gallagher. Ian was almost the exact same as he had been 2 years ago, and the exact same Ian that had graced his computer screen every week. But he was the same Ian who had been best friends with his sister, who had hung out at the Milkovich house almost every afternoon, who Mickey had been crushing on for so many years and who was in the middle of chaos that Mickey needed to save him from. Ian had not noticed him yet, he was still startled by the hoard of girls surrounding him, but Mickey felt just like one of those crazy girls staring at him. He continued looking at Ian’s defined bicep just long enough to grab it with his hand, turned away from the man and hauled the redhead out of harm’s way.

 

 

  Ian felt like he had been hit by a large truck and that it might have actually killed him. The last thing he could remember was a wall of girls running towards him, engulfing him into a sea of estragon and tears.

  The next moment a short dark haired beefy man had grabbed onto his arm and was pulling him out of the crowd of girls. He could stillfeel some girls trying to grab at his shirt or his hair to pull him back into the mob, but this guy, who had Ian securely by the bicep, was not letting him go.

  As they made their way out of the storm the small man spun them around so they were facing the crowd again, and so Ian still couldn’t see the face of his saviour.

  “Okay listen up bimbos this is how this shit is gonna work,” the man addressed the girls, “You are all gonna fucking line up right here single file and meet this kid one at a time, got it? I don’t wanna see any fucking funny business okay?”

  And instantly the girls all tried to form an ordered line in the direction that the man proposed. There was still a lot of pushing and pulling of hair and clothes, but now it just wasn’t Ian in the centre of it all.

  The first girl came up and the man, who still hadn’t shown Ian his face, guided her to him and stood as sort of a bodyguard. Ian took the picture with her, gave her a hug and she was on her way. This was a much better plan.

  By the thirtieth girl Ian could finally start to piece some of the man’s facial features. He had glowing blue eyes and a tough look to him, including his knuckle tattoos which read ‘fuck-u-up’. Ian believed that is was quite a unique tattoo only suitable for who he thought this man was. He was dressed in a black singlet and slightly wrinkled light washed jeans, which Ian thought looked pretty good on his strong build.

  The two didn’t talk at all during the 4 hours it took to get through every single person who had come out to see Ian, but Ian did notice the subtle glances that the man gave him every so often. This guy was also really good at handling the crazy girls, the ones who jumped and attacked Ian before even saying a word. He would basically just grabbed them off Ian and push them out of the line and area. He was also good at keeping everything organised. The 'only one person at a time' rule was extremely difficult to keep as many of the fans wanted group pictures, but the small man was animate on his word and only allowed one person at a time to go up to Ian. More boys started showing up as well during the meet and greet which was a good break from all the girls Ian was seeing every few seconds. Ian tried his hardest to smile in every single photo like he was really enjoying himself, but after how the whole greeting started Ian just wanted it all to end.

  After the last girl had gotten her picture and complementary hug, Ian turned to his short hero. “Hey, thanks for helping me out with all this.”

  All the other man replied with was a grunt as he started walking away.

  “Hey, come back!” Ian called out, walking to catch up with him, “I don’t even know who you are.”

  The other guy just kept walking faster now, but Ian caught up quickly using the most of his long legs.

  “C’mon, just tell me your name.”

  The guy didn’t look at Ian when he replied, “You ain’t giving up, huh?”

  “Nope,” Ian grinned, happy now that he knows what the voice of this man sounds like. It was tough and gravelly with a distinct Chicago accent which all perfectly fit with the outer attitudes of this man, and who Ian knew it was.

  “Fuck, fine,” he grumbled as he stopped and turned to Ian.

  “Mickey?” Ian asked in mock surprise.

 

 

   “What?” Mickey replied back confused. He had kept his head down the whole day, not looking directly at Ian, but just making random glimpses here and there. He didn’t speak to Ian or show any sort of Milkovich attitude. ‘How the fuck did he know?’ Mickey asked himself.

  “Only one 14 year old would be stupid enough to get those tattoos,” Ian replied laughing lightly.

  Mickey looked down at the tattoos in question on his knuckles, the ones who scare everybody off and have given him more trouble than they're worth. “Fuck.”

  Ian laughed again at Mickey’s response and that made Mickey feel nice. The butterflies which had been infesting over the course of the afternoon in his stomach were finally dying down as Ian started small talk with Mickey as they absently walked around the Chicago city together. They talked about the city and their past together, not talking so much about the weather or their current situations.

  Ian stopped where they were in the middle of the path after their conversation died down after a while and turned to Mickey. “But seriously thanks again for today Mick.”

  Mickey stopped as well and looked away hoping the blush he was feeling on his cheeks wasn’t noticeable as he mumbled back “yeah, whatever.”

  Ian made a small smile to Mickey and checked his phone, “shit we have dinner reservations.”

  “The fuck kind of dinner reservations?” Mickey tried to look at Ian and act confused, but he felt that it was a weak attempt.

  Ian just gave him a smile that made Mickeys heart flutter and suggested that they get a taxi.

  Mickey looked down again, “I can’t afford that shit man.”

  “It’s fine, I can pay for the taxi,” Ian replied as he dialled the same number that he had already used twice in this city.

  Mickey waited until Ian was off the phone before he reminded Ian about his sister. “Mandy will fucking freak out about the fact that I’ve already talked to you before she had.”

  “Well then, let’s make dinner about Mandy,” Ian suggested, “you haven’t talked about her a lot, how is she?”

  Mickey was going to reply with the same reply he used on everyone who asked, that she was still fucking everyone, but because Ian had sounded so concerned and caring asking about her, Mickey felt like he had to give an actual answer.

  “Yeah, she’s doing alright, better now that she ain’t with the asshole anymore.” Mickey saw Ian puzzled face and continued, “Yeah she was seeing some abusive fucker who liked to I don’t know, slap her around and shit, but he left the state for work or some shit and now Mandy is just being Mandy.”

  “Wow,” Ian replied, “so don’t bring up ex-boyfriends tonight?”

  Mickey smiled, “nah fucking smartass, or else she’ll fucking punch you.”

  “Point taken,” Ian laughed, “they said a taxi will only be a few minutes, then we can pick up Mandy and go to dinner.”

  “Fucking finally, I’m starving,” Mickey nodded, making Ian laugh more and Mickey feel comfortable and happy.


	9. Sunday - Part 2

  They pulled up in front of the Milkovich house.

  “Wow, it hasn’t changed at all,” Ian commented, leaning over Mickey slightly to look through the taxi window, “I think even the trash in the front garden is exactly the same.”

  Mickey laughed nervously. He had been feeling embarrassed since they had gotten into the taxi and Ian told the driver his address. Mickey couldn’t care less about what the driver thought about his house, but Ian on the other hand. Mickey had tried so hard to continue making Ian laugh the whole trip back to the Southside, giving him something else to focus on other than his shame for still living in that crap hole.

  ‘Ian probably lives in some super fancy apartment in L.A that looks clean all the fucking time,’ Mickey thought as Ian continued looking through the window.

  Mickey was pulled from his thoughts by Ian. “So,” Ian sighed, “You grabbing Mandy?”

  “Actually, I think I might get changed,” Mickey sheepishly replied. He wasn’t wearing his best clothes as he didn’t think that his afternoon would have ended up the way it had. He had just assumed that he would have only looked at Ian in the city and then meet him at dinner. But that plan had changed.

  Ian looked slightly surprised, “I think you look great, but if you’re changing I might as well. What about I drop you off here and then I’ll go to mine, get changed and then we pick you and Mandy up?”

  Mickey only nodded in agreement as he unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the taxi. He stood on the curb and watched the taxi continue towards Ian’s house until it was out of sight. He was trying to control the butterflies in his stomach after that comment Ian made.

  “I was wondering when you were coming back,” Mandy yelled from the balcony.

  Mickey jumped in surprise, “Right, well I’m back now.”

  “Yeah I can fucking see that, who was in the taxi?” She was sitting on the step, smoking.

  Mickey didn’t really want to answer, he was scared of what his sister might do. So he just stomped his way past her into the house to find some decent clothes he owned.

  “Seriously who was in the taxi?” Mandy asked again, making her way into Mickey’s bedroom.

  “None of your fucking business, just get fucking ready for tonight,” Mickey responded as he made his way through the pile of clothes in the corner of his room.

  “Fine, don’t answer me shit head,” Mandy huffed, “And by the fucking way I’m ready already.”

  “Fucking great,” Mickey muttered back, smelling the armpit of a button down shirt he had.

  “So I can help you make a good first impression?” Mandy suggested, “Because I definitely know a lot more about fashion than you.”

  Mickey didn’t answer for a few moments. He was debating whether telling his sister to fuck off, or show some vulnerability. He did really want to make a good impression tonight though.

  Mickey huffed as he moved away from the pile of clothes, allowing his sister to sort through it. She immediately started throwing clothes around, making small piles, and criticising Mickey’s wardrobe.

  “Wow you have a lot of really ugly clothes, that look like you shit on it, that has a jizz stain, when was the last fucking time you washed this shit, did you actually use this as toilet paper, this is impossible, there is no nice clothes, it would probably be better if you went naked.”

  Mickey just sat on the edge of his bed tuning out his sister. He thought back to his and Ian’s conversations in the city and the taxi and how much Ian smiled at him, and laughed at his jokes, and how nice Ian’s smile and laugh is, and how much he wished his crush would go away.

  Mandy’s angry sigh caught Mickey’s attention, “This is the best I could do,” She gestured to slightly off white button down and a pair of dark wash jeans that only had a few holes.

  Mickey grunted a thanks back to her and got changed.

  “So will you tell me who was in the taxi now?” Mandy asked innocently.

  Mickey felt the blush ruse on his cheeks again as he softly replied, “Ian Gallagher.”

  “What?” Mandy replied, “Speak louder.”

  “Ian Gallagher,” he whispered.

  “What the fuck are you saying?”

  “Ian Gallagher,” Mickey said a little louder.

  “Who the fuck was in-“

  “Ian Gallagher,” Mickey replied at a speaking level now.

  Mandy gasped, “Are you fucking serious? That’s who you spent the whole fucking day with? Are you actually fucking serious? I am so fucking mad. Why the fuck would you see him without me?”

  “Sorry,” Mickey shrugged, struggling with his shirt, "it just happened."

  “Fuck,” Mandy replied sounding defeated. She moved closer to her brother to help him with his shirt, “Is he still gorgeous?”

   Mickey looked at her surprised, “You aren’t going to punch me?”

  “Nah, just answer my fucking question.” She replied concentrating on the shirt still trying to figure out the problem.

  “How the fuck should I know if he’s gorgeous or whatever?” Mickey asked defensively.

  “You’re good for nothing, you know that right?” She responded moving away from his body after finishing the shirt, “You’re also missing a fucking button.”

  “Thanks.”

  “When is he coming back for us?” She asked walking out of Mickey’s bedroom.

  “I don’t know, when he’s ready?”

  “Seriously,” Mandy sighed walking into the bathroom, “good for absolutely fucking nothing.”

 

 

  “So you two on a date tonight?” The taxi driver asked after they pulled away from the Milkovich’s.

  “Something like that,” Ian replied not really paying attention. What he was focused on was the familiarity that Mickey gave him. Everything about his family, the Gallaghers had changed, but Mickey hadn’t. His house was the same, he wore the same clothes, styled his hair the same way. Ian didn’t even think that Mickey had actually grown in the two years since Ian had seen him.

  “That sounds like fun, better dress up nicely,” The taxi driver responded.

  Ian laughed as he exited the taxi, promising that he would only be a few minutes.

  When he entered the house, Ian felt that something was wrong. There was no usual chatter, the lights were out and the air felt stiff. He made his way to the kitchen, checking if anyone was there when he heard a whispered conversation coming from the kitchen table.

  “Are you sure of what you saw?” The voice of Lip asked.

  “I’m positive,” Fiona replied, “You know me. I wouldn’t be this worried if it wasn’t serious.”

  Ian knew right away what they were talking about, him. He tried to quietly move away from the kitchen to go upstairs from the front stairs, but tripped over a left out remote, making a thud as he landed on the ground.

  “Ian, is that you?” Fiona called out.

  He was caught. “Yeah,” Ian replied.

  Fiona and Lip moved out of the kitchen and into the living room, “You alright?” Fiona asked.

  “Yeah just tripped over something,” He laughed. He quickly stood up, dusting himself off.

  “Ian, can you wait a minute?” Fiona asked moving up to him and placing a hand on his shoulder.

  “Uh, sure,” Ian tried to answer as confidently as he could, “What’s this about?”

  “Ian, were worried about you,” Fiona tried to stay calm, but Ian could hear the quiver in her voice. He let them lead him to the kitchen table, and sat down. Fiona and Lip sat on the opposite side of the table to him.

  “Look, Fiona told me something really scary that she saw this morning.” Lip started. They exchanged a glance before Fiona continued.

  “I saw your forearms this morning as I was trying to get you out of bed,” Fiona explained, “and I saw scars.”

  Ian’s heart was racing. He knew that his siblings would have taken this news too seriously after what they all witnessed with his mother. “Look, its fine Fi, seriously.”

  “Are you taking your medication out there in L.A?” Lip asked.

  “Yes,” Ian lied.

  “Are you happy out there?” Fiona asked.

  “Yes,” Ian lied.

  “Has your mood been stable there?” Lip asked.

  “Yes,” Ian lied.

  “Are you sure about all of this Ian? We can get you help?” Fiona asked.

  “Yes,” Ian lied, “They were an accident, seriously, and I’m not going to do a Monica on Thanksgiving.”

  “We’re here if you need to talk Ian, okay?” Lip nodded, “About anything.”

  “Thanks for the concern, but I need to get ready for my dinner, so excuse me.” Ian rose from the table and made his way up the stairs to his old room, leaving two of his siblings exchanging worried glances and anxious breaths.

  He sat down on the edge of his bed and rested his spinning head in his hands. His heart was still racing and the feelings of guilt he had pushed deep down about his self-harm had resurfaced. He noticed that he was actually shaking uncontrollably, so he stood up, took some deep breaths and started getting changed. He tried to think about the next few hours with the Milkovich’s, the fun they will have, but his sister’s worried face continued to surface in his mind.

  As he was changing his shirt, Lip walked into the room. “The taxi driver’s waiting,” Lip announced. His eyes darted quickly to his arms before focusing back on Ian’s face, “just letting you know.”

  “Thanks,” Ian replied, putting his arms through the sleeves of his blue button shirt, not looking directly at his brother. Ian already knew the look he would have seen on his brothers face, sadness.

  Lip made his way out of the room, closely followed by Ian who buttoned up as he made his way down the stairs.

  “You look very nice for your date tonight,” the taxi driver commented, he was standing just outside the door, “are you ready to head off?”

  “Date?” Fiona asked surprised.

  "Is this with Mickey?" Lip asked confused.

  "Mickey?" Fiona asked now very surprised.

  Ian only laughed in response as he waved goodbye to his family and followed the driver back to the taxi.

  “So back to the boyfriend’s house?” The driver asked.

  “Yeah, back to his house,” Ian smiled, wondering if that could be a reality.


	10. Sunday - Part 3

  Mickey had not said a word since Mandy and Ian had met for the first time in 2 years. They were now sitting in the restaurant, after already ordering, and Mickey had not said a word. He felt like he was invisible.

  Many had entered the taxi first and slide into the back seat next to Ian, making Mickey sit in the front. He tried to follow the conversation in the back but it was so fast and full of inside jokes that Mickey gave up quite quickly. He was also feeling uneasy and getting distracted by the taxi driver, who kept glancing over to him. He wondered if Ian had said anything or if it was just because he was a nosy guy.

  “You gonna keep your fucking eyes on the road or what?” Mickey cracked at the driver after the 17th stare. The driver didn’t look at Mickey again.

  Once they got to the restaurant, Ian and Mandy started bickering about who would pay for the ride and dinner.

  “Just let me pay Mands,” Ian insisted.

  “No, I’m sure Mick has some money somewhere, right?” Mandy asked him, but before Mickey could reply –

  “Seriously let me,” Ian continued.

  “You’re a guest in this state, for fucks sakes let us pay!”

  “I’m not a guest I use to live here!”

  “But you don’t anymore fuckhead so quit trying to pay!”

  “I’m going to pay for it Mands.”

  “Let us pay for dinner then you stubborn shit.”

  “Fine,” Ian huffed, but the group knew that he wouldn’t let the Milkovich’s pay. Ian paid the cab and they went inside. Mickey gave Ian a small smile, thanking him. Ian smiled back, which made Mickeys heart beat a little faster.

  The duo went back to their conversation as if they never argued in front of the building, full of references that Mickey didn’t understand. He didn’t mind their constant chatter without him in the taxi, they were sitting next to each other behind Mickeys back, but now that they were seated at a round table all facing each other, Mickey started to feel left out. He hated how Mandy could get a full laugh from Ian with a memory that Mickey didn’t know, or how none of them had looked his direction since sitting down. He might as well had left in the taxi and had dinner with the driver, at least he looked interested in Mickey.

  “But then I kicked her fucking ass and now she ain’t stealing anyone elses boyfriend anytime soon,” Mandy finished her story and Ian laughed loudly. Mickey looked around at the tables surrounding theirs, and none of the customers looked too happy to have them there.

  “Fucking snobs,” Mickey whispered.

  “What was that?” Ian asked towards Mickey. Mickey just looked down and shook his head in reply, embarrased at the newfound attention from both Ian and Mandy. He looked up and Ian was still staring at him waiting for a verbal reply.

  “I just, uh” Mickey started, “just no one these rich shits want us here.”

  “Oh, really?” Ian asked playfully. He looked around the room and saw the disgusted looks on some of the other customers faces, “that is hilarious.”

  Mandy laughed as well and continued chatting with Ian about something else from their shared friendship. But Ian didn’t seem as interested in the conversation as before. He was now making sideways glances at Mickey giving him small smiles as Mandy continued telling stories from the past. He wasn’t laughing as loud or contributing as much as he was before Mickey spoke.

  Mickey now felt bad. He had ruined what Ian and Mandy had had before he had finally spoke, he had made Ian feel self-conscious about the people around them and now he had Ian looking over at him to make sure he was alright. What an idiot.

 

  When the food arrived, Ian finally heard silence. Mandy, who was in the middle of a pretty interesting story, fell silent as she saw her burger arrive. A change happened in Mickey as well as he finally looked interested in the night when his massive plate of steak was delivered. Ian chuckled to himself as he then watched the siblings down their meals in the span of a few minutes. Then there was an uncomfortable silence as they had to wait for Ian to finish eating his meal, which he was taking his time with. The Milkovich’s had nothing to say between them, and Ian realised, he was the only interesting thing on this table. He smiled at his new found realisation.

  “What? What’s so funny?” Mandy pounced on him.

  He waited to completely finish his mouthful to reply, “Nothing, was just thinking of something.”

  Mandy asked what again, and Mickey replied next.

  “Just let the man enjoy his chicken.”

  Mandy started, “I am, I was just wondering…”

  “…How you were going to fill the only silence we’ve had all fucking night?” Micky finished.

  “No,” Mandy replied, but she didn’t offer another explanation.

  The table fell into another silence. Ian looked past the siblings to see the other customers.

  Ian finished another mouthful, “No more stares,” he observed casually. Mickey looked around again and noticed the same thing, giving a face of approval.

  Ian noticed how Mickey relax a little after he saw no one staring. His shoulders relaxed, he leaned into the chair more, he looked more comfortable. Ian wondered why Mickey had such a reaction to random people that they would probably never see again, but he decided to ask that later.

  As Ian took his last bite, Mandy began their conversation again, telling him about another one of her adventures that he had missed over the past couple of years.

  “Just wait Mandy,” Ian cut her off, accompanied with a glare from Mandy, “I’m just wondering if Mickey had anything he wanted to talk about.”

  “What?” both Milkovich’s asked surprised.

  “He’s been super quiet so I was wondering…”

  “You’ve had all day to talk to him,” Mandy rebutted, “and he’s always quiet so don’t worry about him. Anyway –“

  “Let’s hear it from him, maybe?” Mickey then interrupted. Mandy huffed as Mickey continued, “I was actually gonna ask about the taxi driver. And why the fuck he was staring at me the whole fucking ride here.”

  Ian laughed, “Well funny story. He actually thinks we are a couple.”

  “What?” The Milkovich’s asked once again in surprised unison.

  He had to laugh once again at their reactions, “Yeah, I’m not sure how he got the idea, but he thought that this was a date. And I may have not told him that it wasn’t.”

  Mandy laughed loudly at the story, “He thought… That you… and my brother… Were… Together…” She spoke in between chuckles.

  “Well, yeah,” Ian was laughing again at her reaction. He looked over at Mickey and was relieved that he had a smile on his face.

  “Wow…” Mandy continued, “My old gay best friend… and… my tough as nails straight… brother… priceless.”

  Ian was a little disheartened to hear that one as he looked over at Mickey again to see him lower his head. Mickey didn’t look surprised at the fact that Mandy said that Ian was gay, but Ian assumed that Mandy had told everyone close to her. She’s terrible at keeping secrets. But Ian smiled a bit when he thought that he could see a blush running up Mickey’s cheeks.

  Mandy then continued her story that she tried to tell before, now without interruption. Ian was only half listening as he tried to understand the human Mickey Milkovich, who still hadn’t raised his head. And who was defying all the thoughts Ian had about him. Ian had assumed he was a tough guy, with feelings he only shared anonymously on the internet, but now Ian was seeing that these feelings happen in real life to. But he wasn’t sure if this was normal, or just because Ian was there.

  Mandy went to the toilet as the boys waited for desert. An uncomfortable silence fell on the table as Mandy left, as she had been the only one talking for the past few minutes.

  “So,” Ian tried to break the uncomfortableness, “how was your dinner?”

  “Fine,” Micky replied bluntly. He still hadn’t lifted his head. Ian saw that he was picking at his fingernails, or the skins that usually was covered by fingernails.

  “I noticed something,” Ian started.

  “What? That my sister doesn’t shut up,” Mickey quickly responded, “yeah, well I already knew that.”

  Ian chuckled, “No, but that is something that I had forgotten over the years. I noticed that you don’t like people looking at you.”

  Mickey just shrugged.

  “I just thought that you would have just scared them away with a famous Milkovich stare.” Ian was now just fishing for something to hook the man on, hoping to get a proper response and a conversation.

  “Whatever,” Mickey shrugged again, "think what you wanna think."

  Now Ian was determined to get something out of the thug. “Okay,” he responded. Then didn’t say anything else. Megan had once told him that if there was an awkward silence and he wanted someone else to break it, just let the silence be.

  “If the silence is very uncomfortable,” Megan had explained to Ian, “then its human nature to relive the tension, so they will try to break it somehow, whether by speaking or making a sound of some kind.”

  So Ian was putting it to the test for the first time. He looked at Mickey, who was still picking at his fingers. A few more seconds passed and Mickey started tapping his foot, making a soft echo. But Ian kept completely silent, hoping that if he waited a few more seconds –

  “God she’s taking her time,” Mickey told no one in particular. Ian smiled.

  “She’s not taking that long,” Ian rebutted.

  “Yes, she is,” Mickey replied, “stop defending your girlfriend.”

  “Yeah, okay I’ll stop defending my girlfriend,” Ian mocked.

  Mickey smiled, “smartass.” Ian laughed at his comment and that made Mickey raise he head a bit to see Ian’s reaction.

  “So, when are we ditching her?”

  Mickey’s head shot up at that question, “What?”

  Ian chuckled, “God you Milkovich’s love that word. I was just wondering when we were getting out of here.”

  “Without Mandy?”

  “Mick, you really are slow,” Ian laughed again, “yes just us two without your sister.”

  “But don’t you want to –“

  Ian cut off his protests, “Mick I just wanna hang out. Us two.”

  Mickey smiled, “Fuck it lets go.”

  Ian smiled as well, left money on the table and followed Mickey towards the exit.

  “You know,” Mickey commented, “This definitely is not the first time she has been dined and ditched.”

  “I’d imagine,” Ian replied as they exited the restaurant and headed nowhere in particular.


	11. Monday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really didn't like how i ended it before and i thought you all deserved that other chapter which would actually make everything make sense so here it is okay cool

Sometimes Mickey felt panic in his body. It would start in his stomach and rise up his throat to his head and through his limbs until he was shaking uncontrollably. He had started to feel that familiar sense as he and Ian walked further away from the restaurant. He wasn’t thinking about his sister, he knew Mandy would be angry for only a day and then they would go back to normal, but he was panicking about being alone with Ian Gallagher. They were walking in silence, hands brushing against one another, sending sparks of electricity through Mickeys arm, through the dimly lit streets of Chicago. He was trying his hardest to not stare at Ian as they walked side by side, but the lights and the moon were making Ian’s skin to glow. The shadows were dancing on Ian face, making his cheekbones seem higher and his face more angelic.

After what seemed like years of just comfortable silence, Ian spoke. “Do you know where were heading? Or are we just walking?”

Mickey smiled to himself, “Not really. I thought we were just walking.”

“Okay then,” Ian replied. Now the silence seemed uncomfortable.  And Mickey’s panic was starting to rise.

“I mean, if you have some idea on where to go…” Mickey looked up at the ginger.

“Nah, I don’t mind just hanging out with you, just walking,” Ian smiled at him, meeting Mickey’s stare. Mickey was glad for the dim lighting of the street they were walking down as he felt his cheeks blush.

“Okay then.”

They kept walking, but Mickey was starting to feel the familiar shake in his right arm, knowing that it won’t be long until his legs will give out. Their arms were still brushing against each other as they walked, and Mickey knew that Ian must have felt the slight tremor in his right arm and he cursed himself for not being able to handle the awkwardness he felt about being with Ian. And his lack of courage for not being able to just grab the freckled hand of the guy he liked.

 

Ian sensed that Mickey was feeling tense about something. The air around them had shifted slightly as they walked god-knows-where. The arm that was constantly hitting Ian’s was shaking slightly and Ian wanted to help ease it, but he didn’t know how. He was good at dealing with his own problems of anxiety when they awakened but he didn’t know what Mickey needed. Ian knew that he wanted to grab his hand, make small circles on Mickey’s outer hand with his thumb, and whisper that it was all okay, but he didn’t know how a Milkovich would feel with such intimacy.

Ian had never held Mandy’s hand, she had always initiated it. He knew that Mandy was comfortable with him, he just never wanted to make her feel uncomfortable, ever.

He didn’t know if Mickey was comfortable with him, and he never wanted to make him uncomfortable so he just silently cursed himself for his lack of courage to help this guy in need.

 

They made it back to Cloud Gate after minutes of walking in silence.

“Do you…” Mickey started.

“Sit down?” Ian finished, pointing to a nearby bench.

Mickey nodded and they moved over to the bench, sitting down, and thighs touching. Mickey’s legs had started to shake and he was grateful for Ian’s suggestion. He just hoped that Ian didn’t notice how much he was shaking.

 

Ian noticed that Mickey was shaking, a lot. His whole body was trembling and Ian was starting to feel really small. He wanted to wrap an arm around Mickey and whisper to him that everything was fine, but he didn’t want to scare the smaller man off. So they just sat in an awkward silence neither one of them wanting to face their insecurities.

 

Mickey didn’t know what he wanted, but he knew that he had to make the first move. It had been minutes of just sitting as Mickey tried to control his breathing and Ian just staring into the distance.

‘Fuck it’ Mickey thought as he placed a shaky hand on top of his and Ian’s touching thighs. He felt Ian jump a little at the sudden contact, but he looked down at the hand and then at Mickey and grinned. Mickey replied with a smaller grin.

 

Ian felt confident now, he knew that Mickey wanted him now, that there was something between them and Mickey felt comfortable with it. He placed his hand on top of Mickey’s shaking one and noticed an almost instant change in Mickey’s posture. His shoulders dropped and his shakiness started to subside. Ian felt proud.

They sat in silence until Ian could hear Mickey’s breathing even out.

“You feeling better?” Ian asked, hoping that he didn’t seem too intrusive.

Mickey sighed, “Yeah, I guess.” He looked towards the ground.

Another minute of silence.

“Sorry.”

“What for?” Ian asked confused.

“Just… I- I don’t know man…” Mickey stuttered, “Just… sorry.”

Ian squeezed Mickey’s hand gently, “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

Mickey laughed nervously, “Yeah, well…”

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Ian repeated, “you can’t help it.”

 

Mickey stayed quiet. He had never heard those words from anyone, ever. Whenever he started shaking in front of his dad he was called a ‘pussy’, when he started trembling in front of his brothers they called him ‘gay’, when he would shake in front of Mandy she would sigh and let him sit in her room as he tried to calm down. But he had never been told that it isn’t his fault.

He started to feel tears roll down his cheeks, and a soft gentle hand wipe them away.

It wasn’t his fault.

 

Ian didn’t know where it came from, Mickey’s tears, but he was happy that Mickey felt comfortable enough to show such vulnerability. He felt the need to share his own vulnerability at that moment.

“I feel like this too.” Ian’s mouth said before his mind could understand what was happening.

Mickey’s eyes stayed on the ground, “Really? Or are you just saying that?”

“No really,” Ian replied quickly, “I understand this feeling that you’re going through.”

 

Mickey looked back up at Ian’s face. It was in the shadows, dark enough to not see his freckles, but Mickey could still see his bright green eyes bore through his own.

 

Ian could see Mickey’s eyes, which kept jumping from Ian’s eyes to his lips. Mickey looked so exposed with tears still rolling down his face, but also beautiful with his vibrant blue eyes longing at Ian.

He wasn’t sure who made the first move, but Ian found themselves only inches away from each other’s face. He studied Mickey’s eyes, looking for approval, then leaned in closer touching his mouth with Mickey’s. Mickey’s lips was chapped and dry, but still felt beautiful under Ian’s.

 

They kissed for what felt like forever, until eventually they were running out of breath.

“I… need… a… break,” Mickey sighed between kisses. He leaned away from Ian’s warmth, trying to get his breath back as Ian laughed. “What’s so funny?” Mickey asked as soon as he could.

“Your face, it’s all pink,” Ian smiled adoringly at Mickey, “it’s cute.”

“You’re cute,” Mickey replied with little bite behind the words.

“You’re cute too.”

 

Mickey woke up the next morning alone in his bedroom. Ian had slept over at the Milkovich house, but left early that morning to pack and say goodbye to his family before he went to the airport. Mickey wanted to go with him to the airport, but he didn’t know what time his dad and brothers would get back and he didn’t want to risk another beating. Ian understood, kissed him and left, promising that he would message Mickey as soon as he got home.

“Now that I finally have your number,” Ian had joked.

Mickey was smiling to himself, remembering the past night, the night that he had dreamed about for years. They didn’t have sex, neither of them wanting to show each other the injuries they had under their clothes, but they had talked and kissed and to Mickey it was magical.

“FUCKHEAD!” Mandy screamed as she slammed the front door, entering the Milkovich house.

‘Shit,’ Mickey thought as he heard her stomp across the house towards his room.

“When the fuck were you going to tell me?” She yelled jumping on top of her brother on his bed.

“Tell you what?” Mickey tried to ignorantly ask.

Mandy was red in the face from anger, “You fucking know, you fucking know what I’m talking about?”

Mickey didn’t reply. He didn’t know what Mandy knew, he wasn’t sure if they were even thinking about the same thing.

“When the fuck were you going to tell me you were in love with my fucking best friend?”

Mickey felt his face blush.

“I fucking knew it!” Mandy yelled, pushing Mickey deeper into his mattress.

“Fuck- I’m sorry,” Mickey yelled back.

Mandy stopped pushing him, “Okay then,” She replied as she got off him and moved out of Mickey’s bedroom.

“Wait, what?” Mickey was confused.

“I’m just happy that you’re finally happy dipshit,” Mandy threw over her shoulder as she made her way back into the living room.

Mickey was too.

 

Ian walked into his childhood house to the smell of toast and the screams of his siblings.

“Ian said he would be back before he leaves,” Debbie yelled.

“Well he has to,” Carl replied, “All his shit is here.”

Ian walked into the kitchen where all his family were talking around the table. “Yeah I came to pick all my shit up.”

“Ian!” Fiona cooed as she made her way over to hug him, “We need to talk,” she whispered as she let go.

Ian nodded to her as he got several more hugs from the rest of his siblings.

They asked about his date and he told them about it, not putting in all the details.

“Wow, you and Milkovich,” Lip sighed, “Interesting.”

“Yeah, but I think we might make it work.” Ian smiled.

He moved upstairs to quickly pack before he left for the airport.

“Uh, Ian?” Fiona knocked on his bedroom door, “Can we talked?”

Ian sighed and felt anxious as he sat down onto the bed.

Fiona sat down next to him, rocking the bed slightly. “How are you feeling?” She asked.

“Fine,” Ian responded, “Good, great actually.”

“Normal great, or super great?” Fiona looked concerned.

“Normal great.”

“Okay, good.” A moment of silence fell onto the room. “Have you been taking your medication?”

“No.”

“Okay.”

“I’m sorry,” Ian lowered his head, “I’m really sorry.”

“Please just take it and be safe,” Fiona sighed, “please.”

“I think I might now,” Ian looked at her, “I have Mickey.”

“Okay, but please talk to me.”

“Okay.”

“I love you Ian,” Fiona’s eyes started tearing up, “Please don’t do anything.”

“I love you too.”

 

Mickey was in the middle of telling Mandy all about the night he had with Ian after they left her at the restaurant. “Still not over that,” She joked.

She wanted painfully intimate details of their night, making Mickey blush throughout the whole story, until he was interrupted by a phone call.

Mickey looked at the number on his screen, not one he knew.

“Hello?” He answered as he took the call.

“Mickey?” The voice on the other end asked. He recognised it as the oldest Gallagher sibling.

“Fiona?”

“Yeah, listen you need to be kind to Ian, okay?” She sounded threatening on the phone, “he’s gone through some shit, mentally and I need to know that you aren’t going to hurt him.”

“What?” Mickey was dumbfounded, it hadn’t even been 24 hours since they kissed and Fiona was already acting like they were getting married. They weren’t even ‘official’ yet.

“I swear to god Milkovich, if you hurt him in any way I will kill you.”

“Uh, yeah sure,” Mickey didn’t know how to respond, “I promise.”

“Good.” And with that she hung up.

“Okay then…” Mickey said as he dropped his phone back on to the bed.

“Gallagher’s are fucking weird,” Mandy sighed as she pushed Mickey to continue with his story.

“Not all of them,” Mickey whispered to himself.

Mandy heard and hit him with a pillow, “That is so fucking gay dude.”


	12. Several Months Later

“Is this really necessary?” Mickey groaned as he sat down besides Ian, gently pushing against his boyfriend’s body in protest. Ian was mouthing his introduction to the video that him and Mickey were about to film together in Ian’s living room.

“Yeah it is,” Ian smiled as he quickly read through the questions again before looking up towards the camera.

IAN:

Hey, guys, it’s Ian Gallagher and I’ve been requested to do this tag ever since my coming out video, which still is my most popular video so thank you all for the loving support. So I guess without further ado-

“What am I supposed to do?” Mickey whispered to Ian, interrupting his introduction.

Ian sighed, pressed a button on the small remote he had on the coffee table and turned to Mickey.

“I don’t know, look adorable?” Ian laughed, “don’t worry about it.” Ian prepared to be pushed away from his boyfriend for calling him adorable, but he noticed that Mickey looked very uncomfortable, his eyebrows were tense and he wasn’t looking Ian in the face. “What’s wrong?”

“I just,” Mickey began in a small voice, “have never been in front of a camera before.”

A soft ‘oh’ escaped Ian’s lips.

Mickey turned away from Ian now continuing, “It was never a thing in our family, taking photographs, or videos, only Mand’s has been in front of it in my videos.”

Ian didn’t know how to respond. He never knew how to respond when he heard things from Mickey’s childhood that just broke Ian’s heart, and this was one of those times.

“I just, I don’t know…” Mickey kept talking trying to fill the sudden awkward moment, “I mean, I could –“

“Do what I do,” Ian explained, “fake it till you make it. My psychiatrist said something along those lines years ago when I was first diagnosed and its stuck with me in everything I do. Just act like yourself, confidently,” Ian smiled when Mickey finally met his glance, “just answer the questions in true Milkovich style, and we have a hit on our hands,” Mickey was looking relaxed now, “Oh, and don’t look into the viewfinder.”

“Viewfinder?” Mickey’s eyebrows creased again.

“The little side screen.” Mickey looked and nodded, looking more assured now so Ian, now satisfied, began the recording again.

IAN

Hey, it’s me, Ian Gallagher, and I have been requested to do this tag ever since my coming out video, which is still my most popular video, so thanks for all the love and support. But without further ado, the boyfriend tag, with my super awesome boyfriend Mickey Milkovich.

MICKEY

Hi, and thanks for not calling me adorable, or any of your other annoying nicknames.

IAN

We still have the whole video to go, darling.

MICKEY

(Groans)

IAN

(laughing) Okay so the rules, I’m gonna ask you these questions and if you get them right, you can have a small snickers bar, and if you lose, I get to eat the chocolate. You need to get 20 out of 25 –

MICKEY

What?! Dude, that’s more than half!

IAN

I know, I have a lot of faith in you, and I really want the chocolate bar.

MICKEY

But….

IAN

No buts, now first question, where did we meet?

MICKEY

Oh, that’s easy school

IAN

Is that your answer?

MICKEY

(Uncertainly) Yeah…

IAN

(Gleefully) You’re wrong!

MICKEY

What??

IAN

We first met at little league, I was in your team

MICKEY

No you weren’t that’s a lie

IAN

I knew you wouldn’t believe me so I have proof. I asked Fiona to send me old photos of OUR team and you can see me quite distinctly.

MICKEY

(Looking at the photo on Ian’s phone) What?

IAN

You’re saying that a lot (laughing, shows the camera the photo) so you can see Mickey in the back row at the end there, and I’m in the front row with my crazy hair. So one to me. Next question: what was our first date?

MICKEY

What do you think is a date?

IAN

(Shrugs with a knowing smile)

MICKEY

(Whispers) asshole. (Normally) Okay fine I have two answers. Either that time we were out with my sister which sounds stupid, or the first night I came here to LA.

IAN

And what did we do that first night here?

MICKEY

We went out for dinner somewhere.

IAN

And…?

MICKEY

Dude, I’m not talking about that on the internet!

IAN

(Laughing) okay well you got that right, congrats. Next one: where was our first kiss? And how was it?

MICKEY

After that dinner with my sister and we walked around Chicago talking some shit and then you just kissed me.

IAN

(Sly smile) and then…?

MICKEY

Not talking about it on camera (blushing)

IAN

(laughs again) Okay two points. Next question: did you know I was the one?

MICKEY

I don’t even remember you being in my little league team of course not. Well, not until this year I guess.

IAN

(Surprised) wait, really?

MICKEY

(blushing) yeah I guess so, why, did you?

IAN

I knew when I first saw your YouTube videos that you were special, but when I met you again after all those years, I knew. But before that you were just Mandy, my best friend’s brother.

MICKEY

Yeah that’s the same here.

IAN

Okay, enough mush, you got that correct, not that I know how to figure if that’s correct or not, but three points for you Mick, next question: first impression?

MICKEY

Seriously I could say anything and you wouldn’t know if I’m correct or not. This is fucking stupid.

IAN

Okay fine, new rules. If I like the answer you get the point.

MICKEY

That’s even stupider.

IAN

Don’t hate me, I don’t make the rules.

MICKEY

You are an actual idiot. Fine first impression from when I ACTUALLY remember you being in my life. I thought that you were really cool. Not many people liked Mandy or were friends with her, but you were really nice to her and got your older brother to mess with boys who hurt her and I just thought you were really cool.

IAN

Aww you think I’m cool (nudges Mickey gently)

MICKEY

What was yours?

IAN

Well I heard from your sister that you were lame, so I didn’t really think about you until I got older and I saw how tough you were and how much you cared about your family and I admired it. But enough about me, you got that correct as well. Next question: when did you meet the family?

MICKEY

Wait, was your mum the blonde who was only at the baseball games when she was pregnant?

IAN

Yeah, I guess that was Monica

MICKEY

Fuck she was crazy, I always thought that she was just always pregnant and didn’t actually give birth, she was never around not knocked up. But I guess I met them pretty early on, we live like 3 street away from each other.

IAN

What about as my boyfriend?

MICKEY

Oh fuck well I became your boyfriend and then you fucking took off back here while I was stuck in Chicago being interrogated by your family about you and us, we had literally been together a whole 24 hours before the first phone call from Fiona came through.

IAN

(Laughing) Okay that’s another point then. Do we have any traditions?

MICKEY

Probably none that we can talk about on YouTube…

IAN

PG ones

MICKEY

Well we watch a lot of shows together, like we watch series of shows together all the time

IAN

That’s what I was looking for, correct, next one: first road trip?

MICKEY

Never had one, we don’t own fucking cars

IAN

Okay first trip together?

MICKEY

Uh me moving in here, we both flew from Chicago here I guess?

IAN

Correct once again, you are going well, next one: who said I love you first and where were we?

MICKEY

(mumbles)

IAN

Sorry, what was that?

MICKEY

I did, you dick, and we were here on this couch.

IAN

And what were we doing?

MICKEY

PG rating dude.

IAN

(Laughing) okay fair enough my loving boyfriend who said he loved me first because he is a big sappy teddy bear – ow.

MICKEY

You deserved that punch.

IAN  
Fine, what do we argue about most then?

MICKEY

Uh, do we argue?

IAN

Only when I have to tell you not to do something stupid like hit someone because someone looked at you funny.

MICKEY

They fucking deserve it!

IAN

Okay, okay, he is kidding, his fine, but next question: who wears the pants in the relationship?

MICKEY

We’re both wearing pants, so both of us, what a stupid question.

IAN

(Laughing) fair enough. Okay, if I’m sitting in front of the tv what am I watching?

MICKEY

Probably a movie cuz you wanna do that shit, like an action movie or something.

IAN

Correct, we watch tv shows together, but when his at work I watch movies by my lonesome. Okay: what dressing do I get on my salad?

MICKEY

You’re one of those weirdos who eats vegetables without flavouring cuz you’re fucking weird.

IAN

True, but we just never had dressing at home so I assumed that it was normal to not have dressing. What’s one food I don’t like?

MICKEY

Dude, you fucking eat everything there is nothing you don’t like

IAN

That is also true, okay: we go out to eat what do I get to drink?

MICKEY

I don’t know, it’s usually some stupid expensive beer that sounds foreign

IAN

 Correct, I won’t bother with details because we don’t go out that much. What shoe size do I wear?

MICKEY

What the fuck? Why would I fucking know that?

IAN

This video is literally going to be just one big bleep. And you should, you’re my boyfriend.

MICKEY

Well I don’t, but I’m still a great fuck right?

IAN

PG Mick, if I was collecting anything what would it be?

MICKEY

Easy, movies

IAN

Movies?

MICKEY

Yeah you are always watching movies and we have so many you are definitely collecting them

IAN

I had never thought about that, okay well done Mickey: what is my favourite type of sandwich?

MICKEY

People are actually interested in these fucking questions? Who wants to watch us answer questions about pants and fucking sandwiches?

IAN

It’s pretty popular Mick

MICKEY

Okay well you probably like some chicken sandwich thing, you are just always eating chicken.

IAN

Correct! I am always eating chicken. Now: what woud I eat everyday if I could?

MICKEY

I thought this was meant to be PG?

IAN

Mick! C’mon, this is easy!

MICKEY

(Laughing) Okay, fine, probably eggs?

IAN

Yes! Because they can be cooked different ways and I wouldn’t get bored. Next question: my favourite cereal?

MICKEY

This questions are fucking stupid, you don’t eat cereal.

IAN

Correct again, you know me so well! Next one: favourite music?

MICKEY

I don’t know you change your mind every two days. But you’re really into Taylor Shift or something at the moment?

IAN

Taylor Swift, close enough, I’ll give you that point, just because she is great. Now what’s my favourite sports team?

MICKEY

Our little league team?

IAN

Close, you’re in the correct sport.

MICKEY

OH! Red sox! Yeah suck it bitch I know you so well.

IAN

(Laughing) okay, okay that’s correct, now what my eye colour?

MICKEY

Fucking green, who would do this video and not fucking know their boyfriends eye colour?

IAN

True, I mean they are all you look at all the time because you love my beautiful green eyes.

MICKEY

Don’t get a big head shithead

IAN

So romantic, okay whos’ my best friend?

MICKEY

My sister Mandy

IAN

And now last question, what is something that I do that you don’t like?

MICKEY

This shit cause you made me sit for 20 minutes answering stupid fucking questions about you you fucking narcissistic

IAN

Fair enough, you cutie – ow again! And now were finished. I hope you love my tattooed, big hearted boyfriend as much as I do and I shall see you all next week. Bye!

 

Ian touched a button on the small remote and turned to Mickey, “You did really well, and they will love you.”

Mickey leaned in and kissed Ian softly before parting and thanking him.

“No worries,” Ian replied, “now we need to plan for the next video you will be in.”

“Fuck off!” Mickey yelled and he pushed Ian away from him, hard enough that Ian fell back onto the couch.

“Love you too.”

Mickey blushed, looking down to the ground, "I still won that Snickers bar."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so smut is much harder to write than originally thought cuz there was meant to be a chapter between this one and the one before where they actually got together, but i couldn't write it which explains the month long absence so heres the last piece of the story. thank you for reading my first ever chaptered fic and i hope to write more soon with an actual plot and not one i make up on the fly

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic with chapters, or my first one that I've ever actually posted so be nice? idk
> 
>  
> 
> tumblr: http://gettingwastedonbutterbeer.tumblr.com/


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